WEBVTT
X-TIMESTAMP-MAP=LOCAL:00:00:00.000,MPEGTS:0

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(lively music)

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♪ When I wake up, well I know I'm gonna be,♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you♪

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♪ When I go out, yeah I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you♪

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♪ If I get drunk, well I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you♪

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♪ And if I haver up, yeah I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you♪

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<v ->Hey, how are ya?</v>

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We're at Hong Kong Sevens.

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Do you have anything to say to the camera?

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<v ->Yes. (mumbles)</v>

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I hope for peace for the world.

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<v ->One time mother fucker.</v>

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<v ->The south stands you see behind me will blow your</v>

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fucking tits off.

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Let's take a look.

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(crowd cheering)

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(crowd singing)

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♪ Hey Baby, Bruce Channel ♪

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(crowd and host singing)

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♪ I wanna know, will you be my girl?♪

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<v ->No.</v>

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<v ->Fair enough.</v>

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<v ->No.</v>

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♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪

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♪ And I would walk 500 more♪

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♪ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles♪

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♪ To fall down at your door♪

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<v ->Cultural appropriation, sad.</v>

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Oh shit, cultural appropriation all over the place.

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My God, again.

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There is so much cultural appropriation inside this stadium

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right now, I might shit my pants.

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♪ When I'm working, yes I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you♪

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♪ And when the money, comes in for the work I do♪

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♪ I'll pass almost every penny on to you♪

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♪ When I come home, when I come home,♪

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♪ well I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you♪

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♪ And if I grow-old, when I grow-old,♪

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♪ well I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you♪

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Are you a microwave oven?

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<v ->For fucks sake, look at all of us.</v>

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Look at all of us.

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(people yelling)

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No.

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<v ->You're a fucking, uh,</v>

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<v ->Look at Dorothy, you've got the scarecrow,</v>

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you've got the lion.

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<v ->Are you a capri sun box?</v>

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(laughs)

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<v ->Alright, these are not funny suggestions.</v>

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<v ->No, no, but honestly, what are you?</v>

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<v ->I'm the tin man from the Wizard of Oz.</v>

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(whistle blows)

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<v ->Shitty costume, in the seat two minutes.</v>

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Two minutes in the penalty box.

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These guys might win costume of the day.

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They got Donald Trump, they got the wall, and then

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on the other side of the wall, they got all the bad hombres

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and the undesirables.

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Oh wow, very current, very current.

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A lot of effort was put into that.

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<v ->Le le le le le.</v>

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♪ But I would walk 500 miles♪

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♪ And I would walk 500 more♪

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♪ Just to be the man who walks a thousand miles♪

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♪ To fall down at your door♪

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<v Host>This is the most savage thing I've seen in my life.</v>

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♪ Da da da, da da da,♪

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♪ Da da da,da da da,♪

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♪ Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da♪

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(host and crowd singing)

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♪ When I'm lonely, well I know I'm gonna be♪

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♪ I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you♪

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♪ And when I'm dreaming, well I know I'm gonna dream♪

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♪ I'm gonna dream about the time when I'm with you♪

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<v ->Ya know what Saturdays are for?</v>

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Saturdays are for the,

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the boys.

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(crowd clapping)

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I'm like super fucked up.

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<v ->Huh?</v>

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<v ->Do you guys have like an infirmary or something like that?</v>

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I got like an alien baby inside my stomach.

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It's like about to explode.

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I just want to get it over with.

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I'm about to Sigourney Weaver all over this fucking place.

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(vomiting and coughing)

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♪Just to be the man who♪

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♪ walks a thousand miles to fall down at your door♪

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♪ Da da da, da da da♪

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Listen folks, I am borderline blackout drunk right now.

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Not shitting you, borderline blackout.

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But hey, I'm with the Globe, so it's good.

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♪ Da da da, da da da♪

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♪ Da da da dun diddle un diddle un diddle uh da♪

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Who's playing right now?

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Russia is about to get their asses handed to them by Kenya.

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You guys are gonna get smoked by Kenya.

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Sorry, sorry.

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(loud announcement)

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These dudes are going to get smoked by Kenya.

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<v Sportscaster>They lead 17 nil, they'll play out</v>

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from their own line.

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He'll run in another one.

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<v ->Russia, not a rugby, not a rugby country.</v>

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(soft background music)

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(crowd singing)

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(crowd cheering and singing)

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(people yelling)

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<v ->Look at these peasants.</v>

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Look at these peasants.

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(people yelling and chanting)

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Let's go.

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Is Fiji going to win it all?

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(crowd cheers)

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Is Fiji going to win it all?

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(crowd cheers louder)

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That's what I'm talking about.

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I love Fiji, big Fiji guy, big Fiji guy.

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Little known fact, Fiji's taking the cake.

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<v ->Okay, thank you.</v>

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<v ->Yep.</v>

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I have been pushing my luck.

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I have been pushing my luck.

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(rock music)

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♪ I see a bad moon a-rising♪

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I'm out, alright

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♪ I see trouble on the way♪

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Have a good one guys.

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The jig is up.

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(soft music)

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<v Sportscaster>He's up and gone.</v>

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For the goal.

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(Sportscaster yells)

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Fiji are coming home with a gold medal

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from Hong Kong.

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(upbeat music)

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(crowd and host cheers)

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<v Crowd>Go, Fiji, go.</v>

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Go, Fiji, go.

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Go, Fiji, go.

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Go, Fiji, go.

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Go, Fiji, go.

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(song plays out)