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(soft music)

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<v ->Hey, hey, yo.</v>
<v ->What's going on?</v>

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<v ->All right, Pizza Review time.</v>

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<v ->How you been?</v>

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<v ->Congratulations.</v>
<v ->Thanks, buddy.</v>

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I appreciate it.
<v ->Yeah.</v>

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<v ->Doing Pizza Review.</v>

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Jules--
<v ->David.</v>

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<v ->Jules, that's what they call him, so I got the merch here.</v>

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<v ->David--</v>
<v ->He's doing the merch.</v>

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<v ->That's what they call you, right?</v>

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<v ->Yeah, El Pres, merch, whatever.</v>

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<v ->Yeah.</v>
<v ->One bite.</v>

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Everybody knows the rules--

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<v ->Cheese with a pizza.</v>

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<v ->Cheese pizza.</v>

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We're gonna go with the cool Jules look here,

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which he slicks it back, right?

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<v ->Lazy beanie.</v>
<v ->Like that?</v>

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<v ->That's lazy beanie right there, David.</v>

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<v ->Do I get the hair in the front or the back?</v>

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<v ->I mean if you got it, you got it.</v>

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<v ->Hair surgery tomorrow, no big deal.</v>

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All right, one bite, Santarpio's, East Boston.

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We are back, so we got a special guest.

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<v ->One nibble, everyone knows the laws.</v>

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One nibble, everyone knows the laws.

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<v ->One bite, everybody knows the rules.</v>

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Santarpio's, East Boston, the original location.

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Take a slice.

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Are you a pizza guy?

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<v ->You know, I'm a burger connoisseur, but I dabble.</v>

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<v ->Little known, Julien Edelman,</v>

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he got mad at me one time for making fun

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of one of his Burger Time videos.

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He said it was...

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I said it was not as funny--

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<v ->It's a little Boston flop right there.</v>

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It's a little Boston flop.

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<v ->It's not bad, though.</v>

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<v ->Not bad.</v>

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And where I'm from we call this the taco.

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You bend it, you put it in your mouth.

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<v ->One bite, everybody knows the rules.</v>

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He's going taco side.
<v ->One nibble.</v>

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Everybody knows the laws.

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<v ->Who's coming up with all these different little slogans.</v>

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A little cheese on the beard.

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Clean that up, no big deal.

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Learn how to eat pizza like a pro.

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That doesn't happen to me.

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One bite.

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<v ->One nibble.</v>

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Everybody knows the laws.
<v ->Santarpio's...</v>

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<v ->Crust, good crust.</v>

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<v ->Well renowned to be top five pizza places, I'd say,</v>

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in Boston, at least all people argue,

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one, here, two, Regina.

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I'm gonna try Regina later without him.

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But, kind of a rivalry.

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I don't know if the Pats have a rivalry.

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Who would you say, if we were going Regina versus Santarpio,

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like Pats versus, uh-oh.

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<v ->Hi, sorry.</v>
<v ->Door opened back.</v>

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That's all right.

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<v ->I would say--</v>

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<v ->One bite, everybody knows the rules.</v>

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<v ->I would say the rival is the next game.</v>

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So it would be like the next Pizza Review.

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<v ->Very (mumbles) of you.</v>

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This guy, this guy.

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<v ->Next Pizza Review.</v>

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<v ->For a sharp, kind of, smooth guy,</v>

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pizza all over his face, just everywhere.

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Can you zoom in on that,

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like you did me and Frankie?

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<v ->You know what, this is what you gotta do.</v>

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I gotta eat it like everywhere.

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Like the locals.
<v ->One bite--</v>

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<v ->One nibble, everybody knows the laws.</v>

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<v ->I don't know why, is that what you guys pre-planned,</v>

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the one nibble, everybody knows the law?

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Is that like a like a--
<v ->Frankie, Frankie.</v>

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On to me Frankie.

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(laughing)
Frankie!

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<v ->They said it in there.</v>

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They're like, don't forget about what we talked about.

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I think their thing was,

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"One nibble, everybody knows the law."

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<v ->I hate it.</v>
<v ->Hate it, Frankie, I hate it.</v>

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<v Frankie>I'm furious back here.</v>

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<v ->Frankie, enough out of you, let's go.</v>

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<v ->Score.</v>

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Is that the owner, by the way?

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<v ->No clue.</v>

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<v ->Oh, I thought that was the owner.</v>

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That would've been heavy pressure,

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I don't think it is, though.

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<v ->See, I'm a sauce guy.</v>

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I think the sauce is good, I like the crust.

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There's a good texture to it.

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There's a good crunch.

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<v ->Have you gotten that?</v>

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Have you gotten that face?

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<v ->Is it still on my...</v>

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Is it still all over my face, David?

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David?
<v ->Yeah, it is.</v>

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<v ->Is it?</v>

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<v David>Yeah, it is.</v>

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<v ->Give a lick--</v>
<v ->There we go, there we go.</v>

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<v ->Also, can we do a quick back-to-back here?</v>

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<v ->What?</v>

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<v Falcon Fan>Thank you for breaking my heart, Edelman.</v>

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<v ->What?</v>
<v ->You've broken my heart.</v>

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You broke my heart.

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<v ->How did I break your heart?</v>
<v ->Listen to me.</v>

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You come in here a great guy,

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I've been a Falcon fan for 41 years.

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<v ->A Falcon fan?</v>

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<v ->Falcon fan.</v>
<v ->From here?</v>

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<v ->Boston kid, falcon fan, my whole life.</v>

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<v ->I didn't even know other--</v>

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<v ->I still didn't see the last eight minutes of the game.</v>

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I saw it happen before anyone else did.

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When I saw, when he got sacked, Hightower,

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I walked outta my house, I go, I can't believe

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this is gonna happen.

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<v ->How do you grow up a Falcon fan?</v>

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<v ->Steve Bartkowski, just way back then I just stayed.</v>

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Like everyone was Cowboy fans, Steeler fans.

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I used to go to the Patriot's...

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Like people would laugh if you went to the Patriot's game--

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<v ->When they're bad, yeah.</v>

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<v ->You go to Strawberry Records to go buy your tickets</v>

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with Steve Grogan and all those guys.

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<v ->Strawberry Records?</v>
<v ->Yeah, Strawberry Records.</v>

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<v ->That is a throwback.</v>

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<v ->Yeah.</v>
<v ->Strawberry Records.</v>

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That is like an old tape store.

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Not even CDs, that's like tapes.

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<v ->Well, I seen that.</v>

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And then when I...

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I mean, I couldn't help but see the highlights.

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But I watched a lot of cooking shows in the last month.

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The last few months, I've still like, you know--

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<v ->Would you mind closing that for me, please?</v>

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Thank you so much.
<v ->You gotta believe.</v>

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That's all I gotta say.

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You gotta believe.

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<v ->I just stay loyal, as well.</v>

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<v ->You never believe, you never believe.</v>

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<v ->Yeah, but I just stay--</v>

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<v ->You always gotta believe.</v>

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<v ->I stay loyal.</v>

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That was amazing, though.

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<v ->That is loyal to stay a Falcon fan.</v>

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<v ->Yeah.</v>
<v ->Tough.</v>

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So you're a catch?

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That's all he's gonna to catch, too?

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Was that, what was that, 90% luck, 10% skill?

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And I've heard you say 50/50.

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<v ->Nah, realistically--</v>

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<v Falcon Fan>You gotta have the hands, though, right?</v>

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You gotta have the hands, you gotta have the strength.

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<v ->No, you gotta have reaction time.</v>

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<v Falcon Fan>Yeah, everything.</v>

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<v ->I would say 20% skill, 80% luck, but I think the people</v>

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that are prepared have an opportunity

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to be luckier than other people.

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<v ->There's a little saying, Julien--</v>

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<v ->How's it go?</v>
<v ->You're gonna steal this.</v>

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Preparation is when luck meets opportunity.

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<v ->All right, I gotta take a picture.</v>

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The guy who broke my heart.

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<v ->Let's go.</v>

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<v ->I mean, I'm just sitting here.</v>

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I'm the Pizza Review guy, I'm getting no love.

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<v ->You know David Portnoy?</v>

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<v ->Where you from, what cooking show you from?</v>

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<v ->I'm from Swamp Squad.</v>

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<v ->Swamp Squad?</v>
<v ->No cooking show.</v>

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All right, all right, we gotta get--

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Now we gotta get the score in.

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We gotta get the score in.

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<v ->Score, there's no perfect 10 pizza.</v>

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<v ->That's like figure skating.</v>
<v ->There is no perfect ten.</v>

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<v ->There's no perfect ten.</v>

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<v ->They're all watching, too.</v>

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This is pressure.

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<v ->I'm gonna say...</v>

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This is...

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One nibble, everyone knows the laws.

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<v ->Terrible.</v>

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It'll probably be on their JE merchandise line tomorrow.

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<v ->Seven</v>

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point

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76.

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B minus.

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Very good.

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<v ->7.76, he's just trying to fuck--</v>

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<v ->If that's a B minus, your catch was a...</v>

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<v ->A+</v>
<v ->Was a...</v>

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Still an A+, you mighty asswipe.

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It's still an A+.
<v ->Get outta here.</v>

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(laughing)

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<v ->7.76?</v>

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Double digits?

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I don't like that.

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I'm gonna give this, that's too low,

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8.2.

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Santarpio's, 8.2.

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That was too low.

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You can't go with that extra decimal, that's garbage.

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<v ->Look at how he tries to throw me under the bus.</v>

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7.76, what's that turn into?

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Frankie, you're a math major.

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7.76
<v ->He's throwing out a lot</v>

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of things that don't even make sense.

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I've never even heard
<v ->7.8, there you go, 7.8.</v>

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<v ->7.76, illegal review.</v>