WEBVTT
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We are live, it is Tuesday.
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It is the Rundown, it is April 11th.
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So do that.
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Alright, let's get into I guess, you know, today it varies,
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today is sort of still a slow day I would say.
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The United story is still probably the number one story
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that people are talking about.
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The latest updates, the CEO wrote a letter to his company,
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and he basically said they followed proper protocol,
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didn't really apologize, came across as a real dick.
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More shocking than that take,
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is that he thought he could write this letter
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without it getting leaked, it is absolutely asinine.
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And then, two-
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If you think that if everything was followed,
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then you don't write the letter at all.
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Nah, I guess you could stand up and be like,
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I don't think we did anything wrong.
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Well you either have to do that,
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but to think that that was gonna be quiet is crazy.
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You gotta do a better job of writing it.
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Side note, yeah better job at writing it.
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And the guy who got beat up and dragged off
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has now become a star in his own right.
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So I guess you gotta say he's bisexual
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because he has a family but he also was arrested
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because he traded drugs for some gay sex,
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and there's some rumors out there that
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when he's checking your balls, when he's checking your nuts,
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he gets a little too into it
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and basically tries to turn it into a handjob.
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You know.
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We got a lot to talk about here,
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but if you're at the doctor's office
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and your doctor just starts to give you a handjob,
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can't you just be like, dude stop?
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I think at some point you can be, but-
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There's a moment there.
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Are you under gas or something?
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I almost trust anything the doctor says.
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I'd just be like, yo dude stop.
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Yeah, there's a moment where you trust a doctor
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and he's like, I got to check you, and you're uncomfortable.
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And then when it lasts more than a second,
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I think you have to be like, this isn't normal.
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I just always say I check myself,
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whenever the doctor's like, do you check?
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Yeah but do you know what you're...
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what do you mean you check yourself?
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Just lumps and shit.
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I can't tell what's going on.
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Yeah I know, but I would rather that than have the guy-
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There's a lump, there's a lump.
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I told you, when I went in they stuck their fingers
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right in my asshole, I don't know what the fuck's going on.
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I already told that story, we're talking, it's on subject.
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I know, but you're telling it again,
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it's just not necessary.
No, we're talking,
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I mean it's kind of on subject.
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It's on subject.
Yeah it's on point.
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And I wasn't doing it for reaction.
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I didn't hear your guys' initial take,
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'cause I missed The Rundown yesterday,
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you guys were 100% on this guy's side?
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100, yeah.
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Okay, I'm like 85% on this guy's side.
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What's the problem?
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I didn't see the after when he's bleeding saying,
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"just kill me, just kill me."
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Kill me, just kill me, kill me, just kill me.
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Relax, relax, just relax.
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Kill me, just kill me, just kill me, just kill me.
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What the fuck was that about?
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How can you not-
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I have no problem with what he did up until
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when the cops show up and they're like, "you gotta leave".
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I'm getting up and walking out and not getting tazed.
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I'm getting up and being like, okay you know what?
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The police are here, guess what?
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This really sucks, I'll fight another day,
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but I'm not gonna get dragged out like that
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with my tummy all over the fucking airplane and shit.
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I maybe wouldn't do that if I respected,
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I mean the main point being-
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So that's why I'm 85% on his side.
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you buy the ticket, it's your ticket.
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The airline's just gonna keep increasing the prices,
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'til they get the-
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That's probably what you should do,
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I think I would be a stubborn asshole.
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Nah, you would not, Kevin.
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You of all people, you are the king of mind my own business,
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don't make a scene.
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You would absolutely get up!
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No, I'm the king of mind my own business,
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but that's not minding my business,
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they're coming into my business.
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I'm a big dick when it comes to giving up spots at the bar,
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bodying people for room, I'm a big stickler for that.
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When a cop comes and says something like,
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I know this sounds crazy, but-
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Were those actual cops?
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I thought they were the United like?
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They looked like they had guns.
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No, I think they were United employed,
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the security for United.
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If you have a gun, you're a cop.
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I don't know, because gangsters shoot people and shit.
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Yeah I mean like, I'm saying if you have a gun,
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the difference between a mall cop and a cop, is a gun.
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If you have a gun on you, I consider you a police officer.
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I think they worked for United.
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I would like to think I'd do that, that's why I 100%,
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but you may not, I mean we could have gotten dragged out
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of when we did Gidel, the cops showed up and it's like-
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Well that was different, I mean you guys were somewhere,
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you were trespassing.
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I think they were United people, so I respect them 100%
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because you can't deal with United.
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We did talk about-
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Would you sit their bleeding screaming, just kill me?
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That's a weird, that guy's a weird guy.
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No, I told you what I'd yell.
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I'd be like, I'm gonna blog this,
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you don't know how many followers I have.
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Yeah, you'd drop that, you don't know who I am.
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Pull our your twitter.
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Yeah, right, I'm gonna make this fucking the scene.
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We did talk yesterday about boycotting United,
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I will be the first to admit, I told you I booked my trip
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to the Kentucky Derby and United was the only direct flight.
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Yeah, that's what I said, I mean I'm boycotting United
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unless they're the cheapest flight on Kayak
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when I go and search.
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If it's remotely similar, yes, but-
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No, I'm cheapest and best option.
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I assume you heard about how Brett booked us to Augusta.
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Yeah, I still don't think that was Brett's fault.
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Whose fault do you think it was?
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I think it's you want everyone to read your mind
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and be a million places at once.
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No!
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You wanna do the radio show
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and also get the direct flight.
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Okay, well then let me throw this back at you, Dan.
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On the return trip-
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He did it again.
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Okay see that I haven't heard
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about the return trip.
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On the return trip-
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But didn't you change your flight?
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You were supposed to come back Sunday
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and you came back Saturday.
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No, no, no, it wasn't even me, he did the other guys.
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Basically the same exact price, they could've gone Augusta
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direct which is 85 minutes up and down.
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That's a tough one to explain.
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There is no explanation, by the way
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I'm not gonna go back into it.
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Yes you are, just do it.
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To even think that-
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Just get it over with.
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Was even 1% my fault.
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I do think sometimes as a manager you want Brett
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to know exactly what-
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you want to be able to do the radio show, do The Rundown,
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and also be able to take the direct flight.
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Right, but if-
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But if all three of those things don't line up,
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what is Brett supposed to do?
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Ask.
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Okay, I mean I assumed he asked.
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That's the simplest thing.
I assumed he asked.
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You thought he asked me?
Yeah.
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I didn't even know a direct flight existed.
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I didn't even know it existed.
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I assumed he asked.
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Jay Danahy went on a flight an hour earlier.
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Yeah I thought you wanted to do the radio, so that's why
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Well he's like do you wanna do radio on Tuesday?
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I'm like, yeah I'll do it.
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Oh, so he didn't ask the full question.
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I had no idea the direct flight existed.
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I understand what happened.
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Do you wanna do the radio,
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but it means you're gonna miss a direct flight.
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Yeah yeah, okay got it.
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It means you're gonna travel for ten hours
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as opposed to 80 minutes.
Yeah yeah, that's fair.
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But you're not gonna book with him anymore,
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so that's okay.
I told him he's done.
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You did say that a month ago, too.
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I know, but no this was something else.
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Book your own travel!
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I am going to because he's incompetent.
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This guy though, by the way, the story today.
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We also incompetent we hired Frank the Tank.
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Yeah, I saw that.
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Are we gonna hire my Bears Rain Man?
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(all talking over one another)
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That was wild.
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We could save that for the after-show.
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This guy though, them releasing all this stuff,
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all his legal past, as creepy as it is what he's done,
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it has nothing to do with this fucking situation.
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Zero!
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It's bullshit!
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And by the way, if someone wants to trade you gay sex
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for drugs, that should be legal.
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That's a whole different rant I could go down,
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but if anybody without coercion or force agrees to a trade,
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that should be legal.
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You should be able to trade anything you want.
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But the giving guys handjobs
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while you're supposed to be checking, that's a little-
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You shouldn't do that!
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But that still has nothing to do.
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Not a very good doctor.
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United wasn't like, uh I'm gonna go get this guy
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because he's jerked off some dudes in his office.
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If they did, would you be down with United?
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I would say that that's a little,
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it is obviously more relevant to the story now.
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Right, if they were like someone's gotta get off
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this plane and that guy jerks off people unwillingly,
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I think I'd be down with this.
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You can't jerk somebody off, by the way,
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that's a whole different philosophical discussion,
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but you can't jerk somebody off unwillingly
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because your dick won't get hard.
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Yeah.
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It's a fact.
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He's just spending too much time down there.
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We went a lot of different ways on that subject.
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Yeah, it was good, it was a vintage rundown.
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Sergio's fiance, so she made the headlines
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because this dude, 86 years old by the way, the BBC guy,
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off-camera, he's like, she had the shortest skirt on campus.
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Shout out to The Masters for calling their grounds
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the campus, from now on this office will be referred to
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as the Barstool campus.
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The program?
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It's program, we're a program and this is the campus.
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People freaked out, BBC they want him fired.
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They're saying he's sexist.
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They're saying this, that, the other thing.
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KFC, what do you got on Sergio's-
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and they're saying it overshadows Sergio winning.
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That's what's unbelievable.
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Like anything in the fucking world, they almost said it
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for Sergio, they were like you ruined Sergio's moment.
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Like anything in the fucking world
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could ruin Sergio finally winning The Masters.
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Oh my hot ass fiance was wearing a short skirt,
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really overshadows.
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She's pretty hot.
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That was gonna be my question.
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Am I not remembering it as well,
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but like she wasn't stop everything you're doing hot.
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No!
No, but she's a hot chick.
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So she can't, she physically can't overshadow it.
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There are times in golf tournaments,
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where a woman will overshadow everything.
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Paulina can do that.
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Paulina did that with her up her skirt
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when she walking up the steps one time.
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Yes, that is a moment, right.
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But this was not, I don't even remember her.
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She was an attractive woman.
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What you'd expect from a fucking professional golfer.
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Right, I'd much prefer she wear the shorts
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or tight pants though, than that little tennis skirt thing,
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not a fan of that look on chicks at all.
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Its like one of those situations where its actually
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a valid argument sometimes, but don't use it this time.
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You know what I mean?
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You could say that a fiance does overshadow a guy.
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And again, if she was dressing like really slutty,
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it was a little short but it was one of those
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like athletic skirts, there was no attempt to overshadow.
294
10:16.100 --> 10:18.472
It was what they do at The Masters, Dan.
295
10:18.472 --> 10:20.820
So at The Masters, one of the things I noticed
296
10:20.820 --> 10:23.223
is 30% of the gallery wore golf shoes.
297
10:23.223 --> 10:24.833
With the actual spikes.
298
10:24.833 --> 10:27.196
Yeah and they wear the gloves, golf cargos, and like-
299
10:27.196 --> 10:29.700
It looked they were ready to just celeb shot
300
10:29.700 --> 10:31.813
out of the blue, like hey you, I need you.
301
10:31.813 --> 10:33.263
It was wild.
302
10:34.320 --> 10:35.720
Janet Jackson.
303
10:35.720 --> 10:40.380
So Janet Jackson is getting 500 million dollars in a pre-nup
304
10:40.380 --> 10:42.960
with some Dubai,
305
10:42.960 --> 10:44.953
Qatar prince guy.
306
10:46.150 --> 10:48.370
It's making news and it was five years.
307
10:48.370 --> 10:50.720
So the pre-nup was they had to be married for five years,
308
10:50.720 --> 10:54.120
she basically divorced him like five years to the second,
309
10:54.120 --> 10:55.870
what do we got on this?
310
10:55.870 --> 10:56.730
We'll start with you, Dan.
311
10:56.730 --> 10:59.810
I don't understand it, who makes this deal?
312
10:59.810 --> 11:02.590
Like why is this Dubai guy, what's the catch here?
313
11:02.590 --> 11:05.100
What does Janet Jackson have on this Dubai guy
314
11:05.100 --> 11:07.170
because no guy makes a pre-nup
315
11:07.170 --> 11:09.570
where he just gives all his money away after five years.
316
11:09.570 --> 11:11.020
I have a theory.
317
11:11.020 --> 11:12.930
I do also think though there is something to pre-nups
318
11:12.930 --> 11:14.773
have five and ten automatically.
319
11:16.060 --> 11:17.180
There's a five and ten year benchmark.
320
11:17.180 --> 11:19.610
I still don't understand the part that he's the rich one
321
11:19.610 --> 11:21.510
and he's gotta give her all his money?
322
11:21.510 --> 11:23.370
I have a pretty strong theory
323
11:23.370 --> 11:28.120
that I would say is 99.9% safe, that-
324
11:28.120 --> 11:28.953
Would you stop kicking me?
325
11:28.953 --> 11:30.220
You're like playing footsie with me the whole show.
326
11:30.220 --> 11:31.890
I hate your shoes.
327
11:31.890 --> 11:32.987
I hate your shoes.
328
11:32.987 --> 11:34.470
(laughing) that was so quick and sly.
329
11:34.470 --> 11:36.910
That was Twitter Davey lash out, I saw that lash out
330
11:36.910 --> 11:38.072
That was a bit low by the way.
331
11:38.072 --> 11:38.905
I apologized.
332
11:38.905 --> 11:39.786
That was a bad
I apologized.
333
11:39.786 --> 11:42.220
You were rattled, you were rattled.
334
11:42.220 --> 11:43.685
I apologized I have a short fuse.
335
11:43.685 --> 11:44.846
You've lashing out pretty often.
336
11:44.846 --> 11:45.682
You don't lash out like that
337
11:45.682 --> 11:46.515
unless you're actually rattled.
338
11:46.515 --> 11:47.653
If I apologize it doesn't count.
339
11:47.653 --> 11:49.530
Also you proved the guy's pint by the way,
340
11:49.530 --> 11:51.130
I don't think you realized that.
341
11:51.130 --> 11:52.920
When he was like, you have to pay for your friends.
342
11:52.920 --> 11:53.753
And then you were like,
343
11:53.753 --> 11:55.850
I got paid 100 thousand dollars to go there.
344
11:55.850 --> 11:58.077
It was an ad deal, that didn't pay his friends.
345
11:58.077 --> 12:01.730
Yeah I know but you literally got paid to hang out with-
346
12:01.730 --> 12:03.570
But that's an ad deal, I'm going with Bartstool,
347
12:03.570 --> 12:04.457
whatever I lashed out.
348
12:04.457 --> 12:06.360
But you looked way worse and you kind of confirmed
349
12:06.360 --> 12:07.193
what the dude was saying.
I looked way worse?
350
12:07.193 --> 12:08.270
You did!
I apologized!
351
12:08.270 --> 12:09.190
I said I was short fused.
352
12:09.190 --> 12:11.110
He lashed out so hard on his shoes.
353
12:11.110 --> 12:13.140
They stink!
And said he was kicking you.
354
12:13.140 --> 12:14.116
They stink!
355
12:14.116 --> 12:14.949
You've been like this the whole time to me.
356
12:14.949 --> 12:18.600
Your shoes stink, your face also stinks.
357
12:18.600 --> 12:19.900
Can we carry on?
Yes!
358
12:20.940 --> 12:25.620
I don't think they honor pre-nups in the Middle East.
359
12:25.620 --> 12:26.750
So this fucking guy.
360
12:26.750 --> 12:28.120
You're doing it still, get your foot out,
361
12:28.120 --> 12:28.953
you keep doing it!
362
12:28.953 --> 12:31.223
This guy doesn't give a-, you want this, you want that,
363
12:31.223 --> 12:32.960
well who is gonna enforce that?
364
12:32.960 --> 12:34.900
It's not the worth of the paper its printed on,
365
12:34.900 --> 12:35.880
come and get it.
366
12:35.880 --> 12:40.880
She will get murdered by whoever murders people.
367
12:41.280 --> 12:45.970
Yeah I stupidly assumed this was American.
368
12:45.970 --> 12:48.690
Yeah, like who the fuck enforces that in Qatar?
369
12:48.690 --> 12:51.030
I don't even know anywhere, how would you even,
370
12:51.030 --> 12:53.180
500 million dollars is like a fake fucking number.
371
12:53.180 --> 12:55.270
All of it is ridiculous.
372
12:55.270 --> 12:56.400
Which makes you believe that it's-
373
12:56.400 --> 12:58.030
It's the least enforceable-
374
12:58.030 --> 12:59.623
So now this all makes sense.
375
13:00.828 --> 13:05.630
He probably has this Janet Jackson fetish his whole life,
376
13:05.630 --> 13:09.860
he was jerking off to her when she was with the Jackson,
377
13:09.860 --> 13:13.040
the little runt running around the Jackson 5.
378
13:13.040 --> 13:14.593
She wasn't in it, but- and then,
379
13:14.593 --> 13:18.100
he's like how do I get Janet Jackson to marry me?
380
13:18.100 --> 13:20.460
I'll offer her 500 million dollars after five years
381
13:20.460 --> 13:22.686
in this fake Dubai court, boom.
382
13:22.686 --> 13:23.980
She had a kid with him too, though.
383
13:23.980 --> 13:27.425
Well yeah, I feel like you have to kind of buy-in.
384
13:27.425 --> 13:28.258
That kid's just gonna kill anyways.
385
13:28.258 --> 13:29.420
Janet Jackson had to buy-in,
386
13:29.420 --> 13:31.349
she had to buy-in to the whole program.
387
13:31.349 --> 13:32.218
Program.
388
13:32.218 --> 13:35.410
Whatever she said she needed to fuck him,
389
13:35.410 --> 13:37.260
he'd be like fine, come and get it.
390
13:37.260 --> 13:40.160
I live in Qatar, women don't even count in Qatar.
391
13:40.160 --> 13:41.690
That's genius.
So no brainer.
392
13:41.690 --> 13:43.963
I'm actually surprised you weren't on that to be honest.
393
13:43.963 --> 13:45.363
Yeah I'm a little foggy.
394
13:46.630 --> 13:48.050
This video, U Tryna Pop?
395
13:48.050 --> 13:50.487
So it's two guys just standing off, one dude's like,
396
13:50.487 --> 13:51.447
"you tryna pop man?"
397
13:51.447 --> 13:52.587
"You tryna pop?"
398
13:52.587 --> 13:53.420
"What up?"
399
13:53.420 --> 13:54.253
"You tryna pop?"
400
13:54.253 --> 13:56.893
And then the other guy just fucking knocks him out.
401
13:56.893 --> 13:58.020
You wanna pop?
402
13:58.020 --> 13:59.059
You tryna pop?
403
13:59.059 --> 13:59.922
Yo, you wanna pop?
404
13:59.922 --> 14:01.424
Yo, you tryna pop, yes or no?
405
14:01.424 --> 14:02.257
You wanna pop.
406
14:02.257 --> 14:04.037
Yo.
407
14:04.037 --> 14:05.820
Chill, chill, that's it, that's it.
408
14:05.820 --> 14:06.920
You tryna pop nigga.
409
14:07.980 --> 14:11.500
With a rough and rowdy slow type of hay maker.
410
14:11.500 --> 14:13.660
That was so slow!
It was slow.
411
14:13.660 --> 14:15.900
To say the guy who was talking shit,
412
14:15.900 --> 14:17.962
made no effort to dodge that punch.
413
14:17.962 --> 14:20.210
That's what I'm saying, he walked into it!
414
14:20.210 --> 14:22.040
That was one of the slowest punches I've ever seen
415
14:22.040 --> 14:23.910
and he fucking nailed him right on the jaw.
416
14:23.910 --> 14:25.370
I mean if you're gonna talk shit like that
417
14:25.370 --> 14:27.080
and you could see both of them were kind of getting ready
418
14:27.080 --> 14:28.820
and then he just stood there and took it off the face.
419
14:28.820 --> 14:31.050
I think Trent wrote this blog and he was spot-on
420
14:31.050 --> 14:32.950
when he said this, that the guy who's always talking
421
14:32.950 --> 14:35.160
too much in these videos is the guy who gets knocked out.
422
14:35.160 --> 14:39.250
There's an addition though, it's the guy who's got the tight
423
14:39.250 --> 14:42.797
shirt, he's got the fucking Joey Porter popcorn muscles,
424
14:42.797 --> 14:46.060
he's got the chain, he's got the nice lines,
425
14:46.060 --> 14:47.660
he's usually the one who gets knocked out.
426
14:47.660 --> 14:49.870
Like he thought he looked good that day.
427
14:49.870 --> 14:51.400
And then he fucking ended up with,
428
14:51.400 --> 14:53.350
what are we calling it, hematoman?
429
14:53.350 --> 14:54.183
What do you call it on your face?
430
14:54.183 --> 14:55.090
Yeah, that's a brain trauma.
431
14:55.090 --> 14:57.207
Yeah, hema-, hemaglobin?
432
14:57.207 --> 14:59.127
What do you call it, hemaglobin?
433
14:59.127 --> 15:00.110
Were you looking at those guys?
434
15:00.110 --> 15:02.760
Yeah, I assume these guys are sitting here
435
15:02.760 --> 15:06.190
to be our stat checkers, there's no other reason.
436
15:06.190 --> 15:07.360
What is brain trauma?
437
15:07.360 --> 15:08.980
Hemaglobin is definitely a word.
438
15:08.980 --> 15:11.491
No, when you get the big fucking welt on your head.
439
15:11.491 --> 15:12.490
Hemaglobin?
440
15:12.490 --> 15:14.270
You have a computer in your lap, so don't look at me.
441
15:14.270 --> 15:16.400
A contusion.
442
15:16.400 --> 15:18.240
This idiot over here is just sitting,
443
15:18.240 --> 15:19.630
get on your computer!
444
15:19.630 --> 15:24.160
Search, search, face big thing on your head.
445
15:24.160 --> 15:25.960
What's brain trauma?
446
15:25.960 --> 15:27.365
Concussion.
No.
447
15:27.365 --> 15:28.198
Who had it?
448
15:28.198 --> 15:29.843
Someone had it.
Yeah, the boxer.
449
15:31.146 --> 15:32.264
Aman reshan remad?
450
15:32.264 --> 15:33.923
Oh yeah, I've roasted that guy.
451
15:33.923 --> 15:36.380
Yeah The Rock, from Baltimore.
452
15:36.380 --> 15:37.530
Fuck, what was his name?
453
15:37.530 --> 15:38.990
Oh Rahim Ra-?
454
15:38.990 --> 15:42.170
A contusion is caused by an outside force.
455
15:42.170 --> 15:43.340
What is it?
456
15:43.340 --> 15:44.780
Brain dis-fusion is caused by-
457
15:44.780 --> 15:45.613
What's the name?
Dis-fusion?
458
15:45.613 --> 15:46.700
Brain dis-fusion?
459
15:46.700 --> 15:49.431
Just go back to brain injuries.
460
15:49.431 --> 15:50.264
No, but it was on his face.
461
15:50.264 --> 15:51.097
Brain dis-fusion is the term.
462
15:51.097 --> 15:51.930
Jesus Christ.
463
15:51.930 --> 15:52.763
Hemoglobin.
464
15:52.763 --> 15:53.840
Sticking with punches.
465
15:53.840 --> 15:55.880
Wait, can someone Google hemoglobin,
466
15:55.880 --> 15:56.723
so we know what that is?
467
15:56.723 --> 15:58.870
Can we at least know if hemoglobin's way off?
468
15:58.870 --> 16:01.243
'Cause we're just saying the word hemoglobin over and over.
469
16:01.243 --> 16:02.800
Red protein responsible for transporting oxygen-
470
16:02.800 --> 16:05.930
Nailed it, red protein, nailed it.
471
16:05.930 --> 16:09.020
Sticking with punches, 50 Cent, at his concert,
472
16:09.020 --> 16:11.244
a chick grabbed 50 Cent.
473
16:11.244 --> 16:15.393
I don't like these snack guys anymore, what?
474
16:16.303 --> 16:17.136
Gout.
475
16:17.136 --> 16:19.048
Gout, no sorry.
His name's Gout? (laughing).
476
16:19.048 --> 16:21.098
This guy's name is Dave, in the purple.
477
16:22.150 --> 16:23.110
Why would that be Gout?
478
16:23.110 --> 16:24.800
I like these snack guys again.
479
16:24.800 --> 16:26.453
Who was the guy in the purple?
480
16:27.390 --> 16:28.290
Todd?
481
16:28.290 --> 16:29.360
Tom.
482
16:29.360 --> 16:30.270
Tom interviewed with me,
483
16:30.270 --> 16:31.870
y'all like three seconds away from getting kicked out.
484
16:31.870 --> 16:34.476
Tom, when we went-, here's a funny story.
485
16:34.476 --> 16:36.430
You're just sitting there looking at us,
486
16:36.430 --> 16:37.530
you're not Googling anything,
487
16:37.530 --> 16:40.100
then you come in like half an hour later with gout.
488
16:40.100 --> 16:44.760
This is a classic NFL, Tom when we go to the Superbowl
489
16:44.760 --> 16:47.823
and PFT and I broke into Radio Row, Tom comes up to me,
490
16:47.823 --> 16:49.220
he's just like, what's up Big Cat?
491
16:49.220 --> 16:50.260
I was like, what the fuck are you doing here?
492
16:50.260 --> 16:52.480
He's like, I'm credentialled through Fordham.
493
16:52.480 --> 16:53.453
I was like what?
494
16:54.740 --> 16:58.156
He's got a whole fucking set up at Radio Row
495
16:58.156 --> 16:59.330
and we can't get in.
496
16:59.330 --> 17:00.400
Just for the record,
497
17:00.400 --> 17:02.523
the thing he Googled was Seinfeld gout.
498
17:03.678 --> 17:06.013
I'm looking at it right now, I swear, it says Seinfeld gout.
499
17:06.013 --> 17:07.667
You guys sit in the same seats every day
500
17:07.667 --> 17:09.010
and be our stat checkers.
501
17:09.010 --> 17:11.000
Someone has a big thing on their neck,
502
17:11.000 --> 17:12.260
I thought that's what you were talking about.
503
17:12.260 --> 17:15.340
No, gout is the king's disease.
504
17:15.340 --> 17:16.941
It's when you drink too much red wine.
505
17:16.941 --> 17:17.774
You're also thinking of goiter.
506
17:17.774 --> 17:20.170
He's so stupid, like alarmingly.
507
17:20.170 --> 17:21.510
This is a classic Rundown though.
508
17:21.510 --> 17:22.510
You're alarmingly stupid.
509
17:22.510 --> 17:23.750
It's going a million different ways.
510
17:23.750 --> 17:25.820
(laughing)
511
17:25.820 --> 17:26.820
You're doing okay.
512
17:27.894 --> 17:30.848
Alarmingly stupid is such a mean thing to say.
513
17:30.848 --> 17:31.760
It's so mean.
514
17:31.760 --> 17:32.593
That is so brutal.
515
17:32.593 --> 17:35.570
That whole change was like surreal watching him react,
516
17:35.570 --> 17:37.430
and like ten minutes behind.
517
17:37.430 --> 17:38.490
Hey, he might be able to get us credentials next year,
518
17:38.490 --> 17:40.194
so, we keep him around.
519
17:40.194 --> 17:42.110
Ten minutes behind the times and like way off,
520
17:42.110 --> 17:47.090
alarmingly stupid, Tom, alarmingly stupid.
521
17:47.090 --> 17:48.693
Spin zone, Dave knows your name now.
522
17:48.693 --> 17:51.220
Hey, that is true, he will never forget you.
523
17:51.220 --> 17:54.080
50 Cent, sticking with punches actually,
524
17:54.080 --> 17:57.270
so a girl at a concert grabbed, he was reaching out,
525
17:57.270 --> 17:59.840
they grabbed him and the girl pulled 50 Cent,
526
17:59.840 --> 18:03.060
50 Cent just fucking hammers her right in the boobs.
527
18:03.060 --> 18:08.060
In a great twist which reinforces or re-installs my faith
528
18:08.750 --> 18:11.750
in America, they called it all even because he let her
529
18:11.750 --> 18:13.620
come back up and twerk on stage,
530
18:13.620 --> 18:15.279
so it's like all is forgiven.
531
18:15.279 --> 18:16.890
He's a smart business man, he did it quick.
532
18:16.890 --> 18:18.470
He knew right away, he was like, I fucked up.
533
18:18.470 --> 18:19.760
He's like bring her back over here,
534
18:19.760 --> 18:22.110
brings her fat ass up there and now all's good.
535
18:22.110 --> 18:23.509
What was that?
536
18:23.509 --> 18:24.550
Hematoma's the word.
537
18:24.550 --> 18:26.890
Hematoma, I was close enough, I should get half credit.
538
18:26.890 --> 18:29.360
For the record, the proper term is hematoma.
539
18:29.360 --> 18:31.353
What is brain trauma?
540
18:33.220 --> 18:34.658
It's when you get hit in the head.
541
18:34.658 --> 18:36.212
(all talking over one another)
542
18:36.212 --> 18:39.000
Okay, I've asked, he's still not on the computer,
543
18:39.000 --> 18:42.980
the alarmingly stupid guy has has a chance to redeem himself
544
18:43.850 --> 18:47.680
maybe just Google, what is brain trauma?
545
18:47.680 --> 18:49.810
Like brain trauma called, it may come up.
546
18:49.810 --> 18:50.750
The gout man.
547
18:50.750 --> 18:53.420
No, that's like a welt, he's talking about the welt
548
18:53.420 --> 18:54.253
on the eye.
549
18:54.253 --> 18:55.086
Yeah.
550
18:56.570 --> 18:58.020
Okay nevermind.
551
18:58.020 --> 18:59.950
The twerker was pretty good,
552
18:59.950 --> 19:02.530
she was pretty good at twerking, she had a booty.
553
19:02.530 --> 19:04.330
Its a blood supply that goes to the injury
554
19:04.330 --> 19:07.200
causing the bump.
Okay, alright.
555
19:07.200 --> 19:09.560
She had a pretty good booty, she was twerkin it.
556
19:09.560 --> 19:11.743
Yeah, not bad, I mean punch, twerk.
557
19:12.680 --> 19:16.056
Imagine her explaining, hey how was the 50 Cent concert?
558
19:16.056 --> 19:17.230
That was the best concert of her life.
559
19:17.230 --> 19:18.690
Oh I got punched in the boobs
560
19:18.690 --> 19:20.910
By 50 Cent and then he called me up personally,
561
19:20.910 --> 19:22.490
they lifted me on stage and I got to dance.
562
19:22.490 --> 19:24.480
The weirdest thing though was her dress.
563
19:24.480 --> 19:27.350
She was dressed for like Easter, Easter Sunday.
564
19:27.350 --> 19:29.693
And she's in a floral dress at a 50 Cent concert
565
19:29.693 --> 19:31.321
getting punched in the tit.
566
19:31.321 --> 19:32.313
I'm gonna say -no, I'm not gonna say it.
567
19:32.313 --> 19:33.714
No, no, no you gotta say it.
568
19:33.714 --> 19:34.547
No, no, I'm not gonna say it.
569
19:34.547 --> 19:36.709
That is internet rules.
Was it about Brett?
570
19:36.709 --> 19:41.120
It may be like, I'm not sure if it's true.
571
19:41.120 --> 19:42.410
So I'm taking it back.
572
19:42.410 --> 19:43.590
It's borderline racist too, so I don't want to say it.
573
19:43.590 --> 19:44.780
Okay, maybe don't say it.
574
19:44.780 --> 19:46.773
Yeah, I'll let it permeate my brain.
575
19:48.230 --> 19:49.611
I want to say it now, bad, but-
576
19:49.611 --> 19:50.600
(laughing)
577
19:50.600 --> 19:52.140
You have to say it.
578
19:52.140 --> 19:53.210
Just say it as a question.
579
19:53.210 --> 19:54.555
Whisper it to me and I'll say it,
580
19:54.555 --> 19:55.460
'cause then nobody will care.
581
19:55.460 --> 19:56.820
I feel like I'm having a Bill Parcells,
582
19:56.820 --> 19:58.510
like no offense to the Japs but trick play is not-
583
19:58.510 --> 19:59.600
Say it as a question.
584
19:59.600 --> 20:04.154
Okay, do black people love dressing up
585
20:04.154 --> 20:07.030
in super Eastery colors around Easter?
586
20:07.030 --> 20:09.081
Oh, good question.
587
20:09.081 --> 20:10.072
I don't think that's racist,
588
20:10.072 --> 20:10.905
I think that's a fair question.
589
20:10.905 --> 20:11.738
No, I think it's a good question.
590
20:11.738 --> 20:13.300
I think they probably go all out for Easter.
591
20:13.300 --> 20:15.300
That's your intellectual curiosity at work.
592
20:15.300 --> 20:17.360
Yeah right, so it's like that's close to what Easter's
593
20:17.360 --> 20:20.470
around pastels and I feel like they get fired off.
594
20:20.470 --> 20:22.144
Yeah, get into it.
595
20:22.144 --> 20:23.363
I don't think that's a thing, but I don't think
596
20:23.363 --> 20:24.730
it's racist to answer your question either.
597
20:24.730 --> 20:26.057
Alright, good.
598
20:26.057 --> 20:26.890
I think that was just a fair question.
599
20:26.890 --> 20:29.783
Do you think it's a thing Coley, that it's near Easter
600
20:29.783 --> 20:30.883
and I'm going to a concert so-
601
20:30.883 --> 20:31.716
Well they're loading up,
602
20:31.716 --> 20:33.130
they probably have maybe ten outfits.
603
20:33.130 --> 20:34.338
Yeah, you can't try them all.
604
20:34.338 --> 20:35.171
If I'm not wearing this one Sunday,
605
20:35.171 --> 20:36.004
I'll wear it the Sunday before.
606
20:36.004 --> 20:37.205
I'll wear it to the 50 Cent concert.
607
20:37.205 --> 20:38.043
Right.
608
20:40.390 --> 20:41.223
Maybe.
609
20:42.594 --> 20:43.427
What a shit show.
610
20:43.427 --> 20:44.810
This is gonna be a great Rundown.
611
20:44.810 --> 20:48.270
So Dan, you were at Cubs raising the flag
612
20:48.270 --> 20:50.425
and you met the guy that knew every Bears score
613
20:50.425 --> 20:51.823
for the last hundred years?
614
20:52.830 --> 20:54.400
How did he preface that, was he just like?
615
20:54.400 --> 20:56.280
So he didn't even want to do it.
616
20:56.280 --> 20:59.240
He was a scribal police officer, his buy was a stoolie,
617
20:59.240 --> 21:01.980
and he came up, we were literally just getting dumped on
618
21:01.980 --> 21:02.901
for two hours.
619
21:02.901 --> 21:03.790
That's what made it so good by the way,
620
21:03.790 --> 21:06.777
the water dripping off that guy's face the whole time
621
21:06.777 --> 21:09.210
And it was one of those rains that it started
622
21:09.210 --> 21:11.397
it was 70 degrees and by the end it was like 40.
623
21:11.397 --> 21:13.380
So you just get so cold.
624
21:13.380 --> 21:14.530
And the guy came up to me, he's like,
625
21:14.530 --> 21:16.600
hey what's up Big Cat, big fan.
626
21:16.600 --> 21:18.020
And we're just like okay cool.
627
21:18.020 --> 21:21.640
He's like, my buddy here he can name every single Bears game
628
21:21.640 --> 21:23.600
from 1999 to 2016.
629
21:23.600 --> 21:26.308
We must have sat there for an hour just doing every game.
630
21:26.308 --> 21:28.430
It's been raining for the last two hours
631
21:28.430 --> 21:32.740
and this guy is standing here telling us that he can tell us
632
21:32.740 --> 21:37.740
any Bears game in the last 16 years, he knows the result,
633
21:39.270 --> 21:41.300
so we're gonna give him two random ones.
634
21:41.300 --> 21:44.263
Week 14, 2001.
635
21:45.486 --> 21:47.183
Week 14, 2001,
636
21:48.818 --> 21:52.260
they beat the Bucks 27-3.
637
21:52.260 --> 21:56.013
Week 4, 2008.
638
21:56.870 --> 22:00.950
Week 4, 2008, they beat the Eagles, 24-20.
639
22:00.950 --> 22:02.360
And were you checking them all?
640
22:02.360 --> 22:05.350
Yeah, checking them all, he only got one wrong
641
22:05.350 --> 22:08.364
of maybe the 70 I asked him, but he said as he said it,
642
22:08.364 --> 22:12.320
this is the score but it might have been the bye week
643
22:12.320 --> 22:13.650
so it would be the score next week.
644
22:13.650 --> 22:15.320
And I looked it up and it was actually the bye week
645
22:15.320 --> 22:16.153
and the score was the week after.
646
22:16.153 --> 22:19.630
So is this just a trick he did
647
22:19.630 --> 22:23.050
or he has an autistic brain, Rain Man?
648
22:23.050 --> 22:24.220
Could he do it with another team,
649
22:24.220 --> 22:25.400
or he just probably memorized each score?
650
22:25.400 --> 22:28.340
Yeah he said he has a photogenic memory,
651
22:28.340 --> 22:30.700
I don't know why you'd use it on that.
652
22:30.700 --> 22:33.490
It's very sad, like very sad.
653
22:33.490 --> 22:37.111
There's a lot of sad Bears years there, very sad.
654
22:37.111 --> 22:38.440
I thought you were gonna say it's a sad trick,
655
22:38.440 --> 22:39.330
I think its a great trick.
656
22:39.330 --> 22:43.420
No, I'm sure it's gotten him beers and everything.
657
22:43.420 --> 22:45.209
You can win every bet in the world.
658
22:45.209 --> 22:46.409
I'll tell you the score, blah blah blah.
659
22:46.409 --> 22:48.280
Right, exactly, I mean the fact that I at one point,
660
22:48.280 --> 22:52.177
I think I had this on video when I was like week four, 2002
661
22:52.177 --> 22:56.530
and he like, the Bears lost to the Bucks 6-3.
662
22:56.530 --> 22:58.013
Week seven, '99.
663
22:59.660 --> 23:03.731
Seven, '99, they lost to Tampa 6-3.
664
23:03.731 --> 23:04.878
I was like, that is the saddest thing
665
23:04.878 --> 23:05.711
that's ever been said.
666
23:05.711 --> 23:06.950
Those are games that me and you when we finish watching
667
23:06.950 --> 23:08.060
we're like I'm gonna black that out,
668
23:08.060 --> 23:09.343
I never wanna remember that again.
669
23:09.343 --> 23:11.530
That guy burns it into his brain.
670
23:11.530 --> 23:14.650
Was that old Bucks uniforms, too?
671
23:14.650 --> 23:16.739
They gotta go back to those.
672
23:16.739 --> 23:19.690
No, they switched those in the 90's but yeah,
673
23:19.690 --> 23:21.370
I know what you're talking about, the creamsicles?
674
23:21.370 --> 23:22.660
Yeah, those are old, old.
675
23:22.660 --> 23:24.500
Those were great!
676
23:24.500 --> 23:25.570
So good.
Great.
677
23:25.570 --> 23:26.960
Those are not in 2002 though.
678
23:26.960 --> 23:29.670
No, 'cause 2002 was when they won the Superbowl.
679
23:29.670 --> 23:32.063
Yeah, no, the old,
680
23:35.283 --> 23:37.483
those were some of the best uniforms ever.
681
23:39.537 --> 23:40.830
So probably the most random moment,
682
23:40.830 --> 23:44.700
everyone basically left because the fourth inning
683
23:44.700 --> 23:47.960
was being played at 11pm, there was a moment where I
684
23:47.960 --> 23:51.530
was sitting in, I moved my season tickets from the bleachers
685
23:51.530 --> 23:54.440
to the seats, 'cause long story, the buddy I own them with
686
23:54.440 --> 23:56.280
has bad knees, he can't sit in the bleachers anymore.
687
23:56.280 --> 23:57.520
Sounds like a-
688
23:57.520 --> 23:59.144
Gout, he actually has gout!
689
23:59.144 --> 24:02.151
He's got gout and so yeah, he's a mess.
690
24:02.151 --> 24:03.530
No fucking way.
691
24:03.530 --> 24:06.610
No, he does, he has gout and he also has knee problems,
692
24:06.610 --> 24:07.443
he played football,
693
24:07.443 --> 24:08.741
Barstool serendipity right there.
694
24:08.741 --> 24:10.730
and he has bad knees, so we moved in.
695
24:10.730 --> 24:12.330
There was a moment we were in the section,
696
24:12.330 --> 24:14.870
there was basically no one in the section,
697
24:14.870 --> 24:17.960
it was me, my buddy, Scott Darling and Rovell,
698
24:17.960 --> 24:19.400
Rovell came to say hello.
699
24:19.400 --> 24:23.420
And it was the most random, just sitting there being like,
700
24:23.420 --> 24:24.420
okay we're doing this.
701
24:24.420 --> 24:28.530
And then Rovell's just a weird spidery dude.
702
24:28.530 --> 24:29.880
Any progress on PMT with him?
703
24:29.880 --> 24:33.583
He's still very worried about PFD, he's very scared.
704
24:33.583 --> 24:36.160
Like unbelievable how scared he is.
705
24:36.160 --> 24:37.180
But in hindsight-
706
24:37.180 --> 24:38.120
What's he afraid of?
707
24:38.120 --> 24:39.935
Well he did this to him, on comedy central.
708
24:39.935 --> 24:41.127
His hat, he brought it up again,
709
24:41.127 --> 24:44.060
he's like it was all fun and games 'til PFD did that.
710
24:44.060 --> 24:45.846
I was like, dude, are you?
711
24:45.846 --> 24:47.920
It's nerd flash backs.
712
24:47.920 --> 24:52.150
To Rovell's defense, at The Masters, me and Frankie were
713
24:52.150 --> 24:53.510
in there and they take all your phones,
714
24:53.510 --> 24:56.320
you can't have any communication in The Masters,
715
24:56.320 --> 24:59.700
and a stoolie came up, he's like Gidel's right behind you
716
24:59.700 --> 25:00.533
in the green jacket.
717
25:00.533 --> 25:01.570
So I couldn't find him,
718
25:01.570 --> 25:02.750
but me and Frankie were like what are we gonna do?
719
25:02.750 --> 25:05.380
We have nothing and I was gonna do that,
720
25:05.380 --> 25:07.900
which is in my mind, the meanest thing I could do to him,
721
25:07.900 --> 25:10.239
so it's a mean fucking thing.
722
25:10.239 --> 25:11.980
That was like Rovell's favorite day of the year though
723
25:11.980 --> 25:14.170
because the Cubs, they open a new plaza
724
25:14.170 --> 25:17.183
and they have all these commemorative things on sale
725
25:17.183 --> 25:20.570
and menus, he was just jizzing nerd all day.
726
25:20.570 --> 25:23.820
This guy was like, hey you want something to eat?
727
25:23.820 --> 25:26.509
And Darren's like, I tried the whole menu at 3:30.
728
25:26.509 --> 25:29.600
Like come on Rovell, classic.
729
25:29.600 --> 25:32.130
Alright, that's The Rundown.