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Alright, it is live, it is Tuesday, is it April 25th,
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Into the Rundown today.
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We have Nate fillin' in for Big Cat
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who generally gets filled in by Rigs,
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who generally gets filled in by Trent, so welcome Nate.
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Thank you.
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Let's start with our boy Logan Couture,
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is that how they say it in the hockey world?
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Just what was that, selfie, who took that picture?
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I think he took it.
He took it,
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just a face full of garbage, basically.
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Teeth missin' everywhere.
Face full of garbage,
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it's fucked up.
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I saw in the playoffs.
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So he broke his teeth, he took a puck off the face,
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and then he tried to play with a cage
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and then he couldn't do that, the mask, so he took it off.
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Here's my thing on this.
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First of all, another year, another year with Couture
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not winnin' the cup, another year that I gotta wait
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to cash in on my bet.
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For those who don't know,
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probably like five years ago we bet
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on a meaningless Red Sox, Blue Jays regular season series,
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and if I won I would get to spend the day with 'em
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when he finally gets a cup.
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I'm beginning to think that day will never come, whatever.
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Instead he's got a messed up face, no teeth.
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That's not the point of this blog, this Rundown, this topic.
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Hockey, guys, now I like Logan, nice enough guy,
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he's been in here watchin' the games with us.
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Why don't they wear masks, why don't they wear cages,
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why don't they wear the full?
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I get hockey players are tough,
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nobody loves sayin' hockey players are tough
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more than hockey players, hockey fans are spittin' Chiclets,
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crowd and they're like this is great,
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he's spittin' Chiclets.
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Spittin' Chiclets is actually like yeah, hockey,
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look at him, he lost all his teeth.
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It's like a badge of honor, yeah.
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These guys are the stupidest people in the world.
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You can wear a full clear mask or a cage
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which you wear growing up and you keep your fucking teeth.
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It's so stupid, I know they want to be badge of honor,
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there's no glory in getting shot in combat.
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Shout out to Chaps.
Chaps, go below the window.
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Don't go above the window.
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There is no glory in it, I don't care what anybody says.
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And I bet it's peer-pressure.
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Yeah, I think it's definitely--
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If I was in the NHL, full cage.
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You wanna fight me, cage is on, punch me in the cage.
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You have the wear the visor now,
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like the kids comin' up they have to wear a visor,
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but you don't have to wear the full cage.
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Yeah I know, but the visor doesn't protect your teeth.
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I'm with you, I would rather keep my teeth
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but I'm tryin' to think of a situation,
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like to put it in baseball terms
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or somethin' you would relate to more where it's like,
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if you play your whole life a certain way
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and then you have to wear a--
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But they don't, they don't,
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in college they wear the full cage.
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It'd be like wearin' one of those big helmets in the field
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like in baseball, you can do it you just look stupid.
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Those guys wear it after they got fucking brain damage.
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Right, so it's the same kinda thing.
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You can do it it's just why would you do it?
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So eventually I feel like Major League Baseball
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will probably make everybody wear those.
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I don't think so.
The huge helmets?
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Yeah, I think eventually they'll make people,
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if there's enough injuries or things that happen.
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And as a baseball guy, if you were just used to wearin'
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your cap in the field or you're wearin' a normal helmet--
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But these guys do grow up wearin' like--
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The full cage.
Yeah.
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Also you can't see as well
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when you have the full cage around you,
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you're lookin' through the little bars.
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Wrong, that's totally, totally, totally, totally--
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He is a hockey guy, he plays in a roller hockey league.
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Thank you Kevin, thank you.
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That's just not true, is Feitelberg here?
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I think so.
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He's got the headphones in, what's happenin'?
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He's not here?
He's not here.
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I think he's in the bathroom,
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I think I just saw him walk by.
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Why Fee, he's a hockey guy, cage or no cage?
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Well cage or no cage, you can absolutely see
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as good as you can see.
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You can see a little bit less
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but not enough to discern gettin' your face mashed
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every single time, he's right.
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You can see the ice, it's more freeing.
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It's a soft, the only reason people don't
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because it's soft and you're like a pussy if you wear it.
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Yeah, right, but when did this start?
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At what point will these guys be like I'd rather not take
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a fucking puck in the face.
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And by the way, is Couture, he's sitting there
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like look at me, I'm so tough, I'm such a hardo,
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look at my face, I look like an asshole.
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At any level is he like damn, I wish I was wearin' a cage.
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He gets new teeth now, so does it really matter?
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Well it matters, it's just you'd rather not.
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That didn't look comfortable.
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You have to say that you like that,
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they're like oh, part of being the game.
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It's crazy.
That's so stupid.
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As the preeminent voice of hockey,
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as the chief Barstool I'm tellin' these guys, go cage.
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You're not proving anything,
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your balls aren't bigger because you got your face mashed in
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with a puck, this is one of my things,
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this is one of my tangents, wear the fucking cage.
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And I could understand maybe on the NHL side for a second,
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if it's like we wants guys to see their faces,
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but you can wear the clear, can't you?
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Yeah, the visor, but--
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Nate, you keep saying the visor.
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You're saying a full thing?
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A fishbowl, like a mask.
Oh, that's so ugly though.
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Yeah, I guess you could theoretically, yeah.
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Alright, they wear it in college.
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Yeah, you can, yeah.
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I don't know, does anybody in the NHL
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even wear that right now?
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You can't, unless you're hurt you're not allowed to.
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Oh I didn't even know that.
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That's really weird, it's not even allowed?
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If you wanted to just be like I want to protect my face
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right now, they'd say no?
Yeah, you can't.
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The argument is that if you're hitting with the cage on,
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if I hit you and you don't have anything
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it'll fuck your face up and I'm not afraid
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of gettin' hit in the face.
It is so stupid.
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Alright, that's just my rant.
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That actually kinda makes sense though.
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It should just be uniform.
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If I was the player I'd be like let's all get together
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and say we're wearing full masks
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because we like our faces--
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Yeah but then you'd be a pussy, bro, you'd be a pussy.
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They just switch to helmets like 20 years ago.
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I mean yeah, 20 years ago is just, I know.
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Wasn't McCavish the last guy
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to skate around without a helmet?
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Dirty jeans, I was hopin' Feidelberg was actually,
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I don't know where he ducked out to.
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So I guess Nordstrom's, I think it's Nordstrom's,
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is selling pre-muddied jeans for 400-and-somethin' dollars.
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425.
425, comes pre-muddy.
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So it looks like you just been workin' a dirty job,
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looks like you been in the mud,
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who has 'em first on our side, Louis or Feitelberg?
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That's gonna be a race to the department store.
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I asked Feitelberg so I can give his take for him.
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I said are you gonna get these stupid fuckin' jeans?
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And his response was I hope I don't have to.
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But if those become hot in the streets,
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he was like I'm a slave to the game,
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I will have to buy them.
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Which, that level of commitment to the dumb fashion game,
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I have to tip my cap to.
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That's gotta be a sneaky-huge rivalry,
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Louis and Feitelberg?
They go together.
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Yeah, they do shopping trips.
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Right, and they will help each other out
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with their outfits and stuff, it's a symbiotic thing.
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That's pretty gross,
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what do you think of the dirty jeans?
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As a guy who owns two pairs of pants
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I don't really know much to say about pre-muddied jeans.
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You literally have two pairs of pants?
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I have the brown ones which are my keynote pants,
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and then I have the blue ones that I rotate in.
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What are keynote pants, those are big game,
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like when you have important shit?
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Yeah, this is my standard, like you see--
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Oh, keynote shouldn't be it, keynote should be like--
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The big game pants.
Oh, okay I fucked that up.
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No, so the blue ones are my big game,
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like go out on weekends, and the brown ones
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are you wear those Monday to Friday in the office,
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and literally Monday to Friday.
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The blue ones are the same thing like that but blue?
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No, they're a little different material,
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but they're pants to me, so.
Keynote pants.
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I'm looking for a third pair
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and I don't think they're gonna be the muddies.
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Feitelberg just came out of the bathroom.
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Dude, I was fuckin' walkin in there
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and I was like I'm gonna get caught shittin' today,
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like I can just feel it.
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It was long enough, it was long enough
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that we knew you were shittin' too.
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These muddy jeans, you in or out?
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I'm out unless they become hot,
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in which case I'd become in.
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That's what he said, also he answered this too,
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I asked whether you and Louis are like rivals
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with who can one-up each other with your look,
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he said you guys are like teammates, that you shop together
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and pick out outfits together.
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By the way, any time you start sayin'
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pickin' out outfits together
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it's like you're goin' down a dangerous path
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in terms of being a man.
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Those ones weren't my words,
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I wouldn't say we'd pick out outfits together.
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We went shopping on a Saturday once,
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it was a little Saturday with the boys.
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Would you say you consult each other?
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Yeah, yes.
That's picking out outfits.
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That's picking out outfits.
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Only for big occasions, like for a Saturday.
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Lou had to go to some Saturday gala with Glenny,
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he's like is this jacket hot?
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Yeah, it's a hot jacket.
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How many pairs of pants do you own?
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Wait, no no, even better, how many do you think
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Nate owns, how many pairs of pants?
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Oh I know 'cause he just complained to me that he has two
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and he wants me, Nate wants to consult me for outfits,
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then he wants to give me a budget to shop for him.
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Just for the record those are his keynote pants,
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he described those as keynote.
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Like you see me in the brown pants
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you know it's a work day, you see me in the blue ones
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you know oh, maybe he's going to dinner.
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They look like doo-doo.
Like what?
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Oh I'm going brown on brown today.
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I noticed it on the subway and I was like eh.
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How do you notice somethin' like that on a subway?
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Like you don't look at a mirror
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before you walk out of the house?
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Oh, do I look in the mirror on the way out?
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You knew that walkin' out of the door,
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you were like I'm gonna be brown-on-brown today.
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And by the way, those shoes are like murky green.
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He put those on, I had 'em under my desk for a while.
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He one day came over, he's like I have a confession to make.
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This weekend I wore your shoes
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then put 'em back in the box so you wouldn't know.
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And I was like alright, that's cool.
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And then he walks away, he comes back
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and goes so can I have them?
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What do you mean you wore his shoes?
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What size foot do you have?
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Nate, that is such a fuckin' wild move.
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Didn't you take somebody else's shoes too?
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No, someone gave you those gross shoes.
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Kayla gave me shoes 'cause he said they were too ugly,
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yeah they were too ugly.
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But no, I wore rain boots to the office
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and then it stopped raining, and then it stopped raining--
282
10:51.594 --> 10:53.430
How do you have rain boots and only two pair of pants?
283
10:53.430 --> 10:54.730
I didn't have any shoes here
284
10:54.730 --> 10:56.290
and I went out straight from the office,
285
10:56.290 --> 10:57.600
so I needed normal shoes to wear
286
10:57.600 --> 10:59.980
'cause I didn't wanna clunk around in rain boots,
287
10:59.980 --> 11:02.940
so I saw he had a pair of New Balances under his desk,
288
11:02.940 --> 11:04.850
and they fit me well so I wore them.
289
11:04.850 --> 11:06.450
And then I came back the next day
290
11:06.450 --> 11:07.960
and I put them back in the box.
291
11:07.960 --> 11:10.010
And then I was like oh, I kinda wanna keep them now
292
11:10.010 --> 11:12.240
'cause he's not gonna wear them and so I kept them,
293
11:12.240 --> 11:14.547
or I asked him.
I don't hate it.
294
11:14.547 --> 11:16.240
We have so many pairs of shoes floatin' around.
295
11:16.240 --> 11:18.030
I didn't notice the rain boots,
296
11:18.030 --> 11:19.524
I woulda loved to seen your rain boots.
297
11:19.524 --> 11:22.660
I wanna see the rain boots with the big game pants,
298
11:22.660 --> 11:25.300
I wanna see Nate at his finest, his keynote pants.
299
11:25.300 --> 11:26.650
My keynote pants, please.
300
11:26.650 --> 11:30.560
We got a 101 year old lady running a 100 yard dash.
301
11:30.560 --> 11:31.730
Fuck her.
Yeah I'm with you on that.
302
11:31.730 --> 11:34.570
She won because she was the only one in the race.
303
11:34.570 --> 11:37.960
I don't think I've ever hated somebody more than this.
304
11:37.960 --> 11:39.133
I'd fuck her, but.
305
11:40.191 --> 11:43.110
(stifled laughter)
306
11:43.110 --> 11:43.943
Go on, sorry.
307
11:45.280 --> 11:47.610
You're such a spider monkey, I love it Nate.
308
11:47.610 --> 11:49.670
That was so out of left field,
309
11:49.670 --> 11:53.800
but so sneaky-perfect for the Nate Dog.
310
11:53.800 --> 11:55.340
I mean do we even do the rest of the topic here
311
11:55.340 --> 11:56.173
or do we just leave it at that?
312
11:56.173 --> 11:58.670
No let's just move on, he'd fuck her.
313
11:58.670 --> 12:01.540
Nate's on the record as fucking this 101 year old lady.
314
12:01.540 --> 12:02.960
It's just hot.
315
12:02.960 --> 12:05.190
And sticking now, you kinda segued into this thing,
316
12:05.190 --> 12:08.710
this blowjob doll that is obviously Japanese.
317
12:08.710 --> 12:11.030
They watched a YouTube video, it's fuckin' wild.
318
12:11.030 --> 12:13.930
They spend half the time talkin' about how if you dress her
319
12:13.930 --> 12:16.300
in certain clothes you'll think she's a real human
320
12:16.300 --> 12:17.460
and all this and that.
321
12:17.460 --> 12:18.530
Hiding in plain sight,
322
12:18.530 --> 12:21.260
disguised as a cushion and model robot warrior,
323
12:21.260 --> 12:23.480
it's designed to be assembled in seconds.
324
12:23.480 --> 12:26.140
All it takes is a folded blanket over the body,
325
12:26.140 --> 12:28.580
along with an outer clothing garment of your choice
326
12:28.580 --> 12:30.570
to create a model so realistic
327
12:30.570 --> 12:33.180
it will feel like another human in the room with you.
328
12:33.180 --> 12:38.107
Nate, you're probably the most likely candidate for this.
329
12:38.107 --> 12:39.819
To buy a blowjob doll?
Yeah.
330
12:39.819 --> 12:41.560
No I wouldn't buy a blowjob doll.
331
12:41.560 --> 12:43.270
If it was given to you would you?
332
12:43.270 --> 12:46.260
If you saw it under somebody's desk would you borrow it?
333
12:46.260 --> 12:47.910
If it was under Feit's desk?
334
12:47.910 --> 12:50.460
I think we're entering into a close time
335
12:50.460 --> 12:54.870
where it'll become more normal to have blowjob-type dolls.
336
12:54.870 --> 12:58.960
It's more like kinda like we're livin' in the future now,
337
12:58.960 --> 13:01.610
where it's becoming acceptable to own a blowjob doll,
338
13:01.610 --> 13:02.443
so it won't be such a--
339
13:02.443 --> 13:04.731
Sounds like a guy who would buy a blowjob doll
340
13:04.731 --> 13:06.106
the way that you're talking about this.
341
13:06.106 --> 13:07.068
Like no I'd never do it,
342
13:07.068 --> 13:08.307
but it's becoming really acceptable.
343
13:08.307 --> 13:09.280
Like the episode of Black Mirror
344
13:09.280 --> 13:12.220
when she buys her dead husband in doll form,
345
13:12.220 --> 13:14.923
it's kinda like that, that's all comin' in the future.
346
13:15.800 --> 13:17.380
Why won't you buy it?
347
13:17.380 --> 13:20.830
I still find it kinda weird right now to have one.
348
13:20.830 --> 13:24.550
One day long from now there will be no stigma about this,
349
13:24.550 --> 13:25.616
right now there's still too much stigma.
350
13:25.616 --> 13:27.700
You don't seem like a stigma guy to me.
351
13:27.700 --> 13:29.318
I think everybody's a stigma guy.
352
13:29.318 --> 13:34.318
You vacillate between a stigma guy into the weird--
353
13:34.770 --> 13:35.610
Spider monkey and Eric.
354
13:35.610 --> 13:37.920
You're wearing other people's shoes around the office
355
13:37.920 --> 13:39.390
and putting them back in boxes, that's,
356
13:39.390 --> 13:41.080
by the way that's a stigma,
357
13:41.080 --> 13:43.040
like you shouldn't wear other people's shoes
358
13:43.040 --> 13:44.130
and put them 'em back in the box
359
13:44.130 --> 13:45.377
and not tell the other person you did.
360
13:45.377 --> 13:48.520
But also I knew John would never wear them, so.
361
13:48.520 --> 13:50.930
Yeah, well I mean whatever.
Friends helping friends.
362
13:50.930 --> 13:53.030
My thing about the blowjob doll
363
13:53.030 --> 13:55.300
is they made it sound like so much
364
13:55.300 --> 13:58.910
like putting clothes on her and you can go,
365
13:58.910 --> 14:02.700
by the way the commentary, you can go to a punishing speed,
366
14:02.700 --> 14:04.860
like 100, it's like relax.
367
14:04.860 --> 14:08.520
But if you're gonna have to use that much imagination
368
14:08.520 --> 14:09.470
then what's the difference
369
14:09.470 --> 14:12.363
between just a good ol' fashioned jerk-off really?
370
14:13.320 --> 14:17.220
I'm assuming that the headpiece feels better
371
14:17.220 --> 14:20.526
than the jerking off, that's what I'm assuming.
372
14:20.526 --> 14:22.607
If that's not the case yes, it's better to just crack off.
373
14:22.607 --> 14:26.060
I wrote a blog about Tenga back like, again,
374
14:26.060 --> 14:28.430
I think when I was doing this myself.
375
14:28.430 --> 14:29.800
That was an auto-blow thing
376
14:29.800 --> 14:31.380
that I used to get those all the time and try them--
377
14:31.380 --> 14:33.990
I would imagine the technology has advanced.
378
14:33.990 --> 14:35.858
That's a little too advanced.
379
14:35.858 --> 14:39.190
It was a heavy stainless steel fucking robot.
380
14:39.190 --> 14:41.330
My point is why do you even have to dress the thing up?
381
14:41.330 --> 14:42.163
You're gonna close your eyes.
382
14:42.163 --> 14:43.550
I was gonna say, that's my thing,
383
14:43.550 --> 14:45.520
the put the hair in the ponytail,
384
14:45.520 --> 14:46.867
and put the winter coat on it,
385
14:46.867 --> 14:48.512
and the blankets on it, just close your eyes
386
14:48.512 --> 14:50.803
and let the robot blow you.
Extreme.
387
14:52.123 --> 14:53.360
That's good advice.
388
14:53.360 --> 14:54.820
Balls blender chick?
389
14:54.820 --> 14:57.600
She's goin' nuts on viral right now.
390
14:57.600 --> 14:59.280
So it's a girl.
Going nuts.
391
14:59.280 --> 15:01.000
I had to read this for a little bit.
392
15:01.000 --> 15:05.120
So I guess she uses, no pun intended, but intended, yeah.
393
15:05.120 --> 15:06.670
So she used her boyfriend's nuts,
394
15:06.670 --> 15:09.344
is a blender a thing for girls?
395
15:09.344 --> 15:13.380
To put makeup on her face, she just used the dude's balls.
396
15:13.380 --> 15:14.620
And people are goin' viral.
397
15:14.620 --> 15:15.810
Some people saying it's great
398
15:15.810 --> 15:17.750
because you're so comfortable with your boyfriend,
399
15:17.750 --> 15:20.120
other people are like, I guess.
400
15:20.120 --> 15:23.510
I guess I don't know what, I mean you wanna become a slut,
401
15:23.510 --> 15:26.683
that's fine, do they have sex after this you think?
402
15:28.860 --> 15:30.690
Like right there, no.
403
15:30.690 --> 15:33.040
She puts on their makeup and they go to dinner.
404
15:34.100 --> 15:36.420
I feel like once the nuts are on your face
405
15:36.420 --> 15:39.438
it's probably gonna go down, that would be my assumption.
406
15:39.438 --> 15:40.271
You think they're gonna go to dinner?
407
15:40.271 --> 15:41.280
Yeah, I think they're just going to dinner,
408
15:41.280 --> 15:42.620
it's like a bit they do together,
409
15:42.620 --> 15:44.140
and then one time she filmed it
410
15:44.140 --> 15:46.700
and they didn't expect anything to come out of it.
411
15:46.700 --> 15:48.690
Like literally I think that's a normal thing
412
15:48.690 --> 15:50.790
that they do based on how I read it.
413
15:50.790 --> 15:53.160
And then now it's blowing up,
414
15:53.160 --> 15:55.723
but they don't do that as foreplay.
415
15:55.723 --> 15:57.410
You think they do that--
As a bit.
416
15:57.410 --> 15:59.130
They do it as a funny bit between the two of them.
417
15:59.130 --> 16:00.870
A poll.
What?
418
16:00.870 --> 16:02.270
They did a poll, she did a poll.
419
16:02.270 --> 16:07.270
Yeah, she was like, do you dare me kind of poll,
420
16:07.750 --> 16:09.523
yes poll no, so I don't--
421
16:09.523 --> 16:11.439
She posted it on her Instagram.
422
16:11.439 --> 16:14.127
She posted it on her Instagram, yeah.
423
16:14.127 --> 16:17.830
I tend to agree with Kevin, I'd like to think
424
16:17.830 --> 16:20.260
any time balls are touchin' a chick's face
425
16:20.260 --> 16:23.230
intercourse is happening pretty soon after.
426
16:23.230 --> 16:26.077
You'd hope, 'cause otherwise that's a weird couple man.
427
16:26.077 --> 16:28.580
Clearly, yes they're fucking weird.
428
16:28.580 --> 16:30.540
I don't like when you're that comfortable too,
429
16:30.540 --> 16:32.810
like let's make a funny video with my balls in your face
430
16:32.810 --> 16:34.690
unless there is like we're gonna fuck.
431
16:34.690 --> 16:38.054
If you are doin' this just for fun I think you're really--
432
16:38.054 --> 16:39.090
She was spreading makeup on her face
433
16:39.090 --> 16:42.350
with his balls though, they were doin' it as a gag.
434
16:42.350 --> 16:43.790
They weren't doin' it to turn each other on.
435
16:43.790 --> 16:45.550
I hate that, when you're like buddies
436
16:45.550 --> 16:46.840
with the person you're dating, fuck outta here.
437
16:46.840 --> 16:47.920
But it's not really buddies
438
16:47.920 --> 16:50.300
when it's like their balls are in your face.
439
16:50.300 --> 16:52.040
But you're laughin' and goofin' around,
440
16:52.040 --> 16:53.170
let's make a funny video together
441
16:53.170 --> 16:54.559
with your balls in my face.
442
16:54.559 --> 16:57.070
But it doesn't change the fundamental scientific fact.
443
16:57.070 --> 17:00.110
Your balls on face.
I think stuff has changed
444
17:00.110 --> 17:04.350
with this day and age, like balls on face, yeah,
445
17:04.350 --> 17:06.210
balls on face doesn't mean bangin'
446
17:06.210 --> 17:08.270
right on the spot anymore.
447
17:08.270 --> 17:11.000
It means a little Olive Garden and a movie.
448
17:11.000 --> 17:12.120
Sex facts from Nate.
449
17:12.120 --> 17:14.280
That is the most wild generalization
450
17:14.280 --> 17:15.270
you've ever thrown out,
451
17:15.270 --> 17:17.100
balls on face doesn't mean sex anymore.
452
17:17.100 --> 17:19.700
I think it absolutely means sex.
453
17:19.700 --> 17:21.370
In your day yeah, not anymore.
454
17:21.370 --> 17:24.783
The kids, these kids these days, they will put balls,
455
17:24.783 --> 17:26.450
like you can put balls on face
456
17:26.450 --> 17:28.740
and then just go along with your day,
457
17:28.740 --> 17:30.040
it doesn't mean anything anymore.
458
17:30.040 --> 17:32.930
Okay, Nate, a convincing fact.
459
17:32.930 --> 17:36.350
Last one 'cause I knew we had a couple ball blender stories
460
17:36.350 --> 17:38.550
and the blowjob story and then you even turned
461
17:38.550 --> 17:42.520
the 101 year old lady into a sex story somehow Nate,
462
17:42.520 --> 17:43.790
but this is just a feel-good story.
463
17:43.790 --> 17:46.060
The dog who doesn't recognize his owner,
464
17:46.060 --> 17:47.700
who's been in the hospital for like five months,
465
17:47.700 --> 17:49.900
lost a ton of weight, and the dog's freakin' out,
466
17:49.900 --> 17:52.560
doesn't know who it is and then the dog gets a sniff
467
17:52.560 --> 17:54.840
of the owner and goes bananas.
468
17:54.840 --> 17:56.703
Come on Willy.
469
17:56.703 --> 17:57.536
He's scared of ya.
470
17:57.536 --> 18:00.533
Mmhm, he doesn't know who I am, come here Will.
471
18:01.737 --> 18:03.197
You've lost weight Cain.
472
18:03.197 --> 18:05.963
Yep, he's like who is that?
473
18:05.963 --> 18:08.630
Oh let him smell ya, he'll know.
474
18:09.690 --> 18:11.657
Were you wondering if it was me?
475
18:11.657 --> 18:13.287
There you go.
476
18:13.287 --> 18:15.692
(cheerful laughter)
477
18:15.692 --> 18:17.519
He's like where you been daddy,
478
18:17.519 --> 18:19.160
where you been?
479
18:19.160 --> 18:21.020
I actually heard you watch it Kevin
480
18:21.020 --> 18:23.760
and you kinda had the same reaction I did.
481
18:23.760 --> 18:25.980
It's just awesome when the dog sniffs 'em, awesome.
482
18:25.980 --> 18:27.117
And it takes just long enough
483
18:27.117 --> 18:28.840
that I was like when is this gonna happen,
484
18:28.840 --> 18:32.062
when he finally does and goes bananas it's just.
485
18:32.062 --> 18:33.840
Everyone says how I have a cold, black heart,
486
18:33.840 --> 18:36.300
but if you don't react to that and you're not happy by that
487
18:36.300 --> 18:38.000
you're dead, you don't have balls.
488
18:38.000 --> 18:39.180
Nate, you gonna turn this into a sex thing?
489
18:39.180 --> 18:41.040
Yeah, you gonna fuck the dog, you gonna fuck the dog Nate?
490
18:41.040 --> 18:42.490
I thought that was just beautiful.
491
18:42.490 --> 18:45.030
You're gonna put the dog's balls on your face Nate,
492
18:45.030 --> 18:48.140
go to Olive Garden?
I would not take that dog
493
18:48.140 --> 18:49.920
to Olive Garden, he has an owner already.
494
18:49.920 --> 18:51.750
But I thought that was lovely what you said
495
18:51.750 --> 18:52.960
and I agree with you.
496
18:52.960 --> 18:55.530
Alright, so that's the normal post-show.
497
18:55.530 --> 18:56.640
UNTUCKit?
498
18:56.640 --> 18:57.580
What?
Ad two.
499
18:57.580 --> 18:59.790
Oh yeah, good job.
UNTUCKit, my favorite.
500
18:59.790 --> 19:00.900
Alright, do you wanna do the read?
501
19:00.900 --> 19:04.100
I would prefer not to.
Okay, UNTUCKit.
502
19:04.100 --> 19:07.130
The promo code stoolies, this is of course the shirt
503
19:07.130 --> 19:09.630
that fits perfect, untucked which is designed to do,
504
19:09.630 --> 19:11.380
so you don't have the long blousey shirts.
505
19:11.380 --> 19:14.900
20% off all purchases, untuckit.com.
506
19:14.900 --> 19:16.210
Solve the problem by making shirts
507
19:16.210 --> 19:18.650
specifically designed to be worn untucked.
508
19:18.650 --> 19:21.970
Again, 20% off all purchases, great deal,
509
19:21.970 --> 19:23.550
high-quality merch.
510
19:23.550 --> 19:25.810
Original stoolies support him, UNTUCKit.
511
19:25.810 --> 19:28.180
And the code is stoolies, and they've kinda blown up.
512
19:28.180 --> 19:31.670
There's stores everywhere, there's one I think in SoHo.
513
19:31.670 --> 19:33.630
When you're in SoHo that's when you're legit, right?
514
19:33.630 --> 19:34.610
SoHo's the real deal.
515
19:34.610 --> 19:36.730
So UNTUCKit, check it out,
516
19:36.730 --> 19:39.020
that is the Rundown, the post-show.
517
19:39.020 --> 19:41.460
I guess it's brought to you by UNTUCKit to a degree.
518
19:41.460 --> 19:45.750
So the big news today, Nate, during Barstool Radio
519
19:45.750 --> 19:47.363
I fired you as the coach.
520
19:47.363 --> 19:49.240
I was released from my contract I think
521
19:49.240 --> 19:51.250
is the official jargon.
522
19:51.250 --> 19:53.830
There's been four Barstool Basketball events,
523
19:53.830 --> 19:55.690
you have either resigned or been fired
524
19:55.690 --> 19:57.240
directly after all four of 'em.
525
19:58.480 --> 20:00.580
Yes, it's after each one I've resigned I think.
526
20:00.580 --> 20:02.370
I thought I've resigned twice, it could be three times.
527
20:02.370 --> 20:05.060
You resigned twice and then you were half-fired last week,
528
20:05.060 --> 20:06.570
you're fully fired this time.
529
20:06.570 --> 20:08.240
I'm fully fired though, that is correct.
530
20:08.240 --> 20:09.073
Yeah, you're fired, I fired you.
531
20:09.073 --> 20:11.740
You were a terrible coach, you're not a leader of men.
532
20:11.740 --> 20:15.160
You're fired, Nate you're fired.
533
20:15.160 --> 20:17.753
I mean, so I'm done.
Yes, you're fired.
534
20:18.882 --> 20:21.450
Because you're useless, you're not a leader of men,
535
20:21.450 --> 20:22.560
they need a leader of men.
536
20:22.560 --> 20:23.970
Actually helping, I'm saying--
537
20:23.970 --> 20:25.080
If I'm fired I'm fired, I won't show up next week,
538
20:25.080 --> 20:26.030
I'm done?
You're fired.
539
20:26.030 --> 20:28.933
Alright, good.
(hearty laughter)
540
20:30.010 --> 20:31.310
What a little tantrum.
541
20:31.310 --> 20:34.400
What a little tantrum from a little man.
542
20:34.400 --> 20:37.990
I do think this team would've won the other night
543
20:37.990 --> 20:38.850
if I was the coach.
544
20:38.850 --> 20:41.140
I like how Smitty just happened to get water,
545
20:41.140 --> 20:43.510
look at him right now, oh he's so parched all of a sudden.
546
20:43.510 --> 20:45.870
He like dumped the water out of the cups.
547
20:45.870 --> 20:49.310
Or if Fran was the coach I think that--
548
20:49.310 --> 20:51.371
Fran might be the most knowledgeable basketball person
549
20:51.371 --> 20:52.830
I've ever come across in my life.
550
20:52.830 --> 20:54.630
She was sitting next to me at the game
551
20:54.630 --> 20:58.100
and incredibly frustrated with the way we were playing.
552
20:58.100 --> 20:59.890
There's also, I guess it was supposed to be a secret
553
20:59.890 --> 21:01.020
but it's not a secret anymore
554
21:01.020 --> 21:02.900
because buncha people came up to me,
555
21:02.900 --> 21:07.220
but Tex has entered a competitive team into this league
556
21:07.220 --> 21:09.120
because he thinks you guys stink
557
21:09.120 --> 21:10.920
and are embarrassing, or were,
558
21:10.920 --> 21:12.523
I'm now gonna take this over, but.
559
21:12.523 --> 21:14.100
You're not gonna do anything.
560
21:14.100 --> 21:17.540
No I will, he thought Barstool was being embarrassed,
561
21:17.540 --> 21:20.510
the brand, so he's gathered a team of interns
562
21:20.510 --> 21:23.737
and he wants you now to coach that team it sounds like.
563
21:23.737 --> 21:26.400
Oh, I don't know if I've officially been offered.
564
21:26.400 --> 21:29.490
I was gonna say, that would be a stunningly bad idea.
565
21:29.490 --> 21:30.940
No no, he asked me when I was over there,
566
21:30.940 --> 21:33.640
he's just tryin' to get on camera right now.
567
21:33.640 --> 21:36.178
No I don't need it now.
Tex is comin' over.
568
21:36.178 --> 21:37.011
Tex is comin' over.
569
21:37.011 --> 21:39.703
I didn't say coach, don't get it twisted.
570
21:39.703 --> 21:44.220
I think you could learn a lot, I mean I'm serious man.
571
21:44.220 --> 21:46.781
So would he play or he would just be an assistant coach?
572
21:46.781 --> 21:48.240
What do you want him there for?
573
21:48.240 --> 21:51.030
An assistant.
That's tough,
574
21:51.030 --> 21:55.630
to go from the coach of the Celtics to the assistant
575
21:55.630 --> 21:57.310
of the Washington Generals.
576
21:57.310 --> 21:59.470
Oh my God we're gonna whip y'all's ass,
577
21:59.470 --> 22:01.297
I cannot wait for this man.
578
22:01.297 --> 22:03.780
What are they, the ViceRoys, is that the team is?
579
22:03.780 --> 22:06.280
You have this guy in the Philly's hat?
580
22:06.280 --> 22:10.430
He could be a problem.
He could be a problem.
581
22:10.430 --> 22:12.347
I mean you guys can't laugh
582
22:12.347 --> 22:16.180
'cause y'all's performance last night was pathetic.
583
22:16.180 --> 22:17.590
It was terrible.
Pathetic.
584
22:17.590 --> 22:20.208
And what did we do, we fired the coach.
585
22:20.208 --> 22:22.430
I mean, there was no leadership.
586
22:22.430 --> 22:23.970
Then what do we do, we fired the coach.
587
22:23.970 --> 22:26.350
But I mean from the team either, I mean--
588
22:26.350 --> 22:28.020
Are you gonna coach this team?
589
22:28.020 --> 22:28.853
Yeah.
590
22:28.853 --> 22:30.500
You think you can out-coach Fran?
591
22:30.500 --> 22:32.223
Yep.
I dunno about that.
592
22:33.260 --> 22:34.800
I dunno about that.
593
22:34.800 --> 22:38.120
I'm a passionate guy and they're gonna play hard.
594
22:38.120 --> 22:40.220
Who's on this team besides the huge guy?
595
22:42.060 --> 22:44.243
Alarmingly stupid too.
596
22:45.100 --> 22:46.570
I feel like I could tell these guys
597
22:46.570 --> 22:49.170
just to shoot on their own hoop they'd be like okay.
598
22:50.010 --> 22:52.880
But the thing is they might not be the most talented,
599
22:52.880 --> 22:57.880
but I believe I'm such a good coach that we can win still.
600
22:58.350 --> 23:02.330
Because these guys are egos, just egos.
601
23:02.330 --> 23:04.520
That is correct.
That is true.
602
23:04.520 --> 23:05.490
Well we'll see what happens,
603
23:05.490 --> 23:06.730
it'll be an interesting game when we play.
604
23:06.730 --> 23:11.263
Last time a B team Barstool basketball team
605
23:12.160 --> 23:14.467
tried to play an A team they lost by like 60.
606
23:14.467 --> 23:16.233
And the common theme is Smitty.
607
23:16.233 --> 23:18.780
Smitty brought in the B team in Philly
608
23:18.780 --> 23:19.613
and lost by a hundo.
609
23:19.613 --> 23:21.730
Now Dave, can I ask you a question about you firing me
610
23:21.730 --> 23:23.450
without consulting the GM?
611
23:23.450 --> 23:26.840
He's not happy about that, you wanna?
612
23:26.840 --> 23:28.580
Oh I don't care.
Oh you don't care?
613
23:28.580 --> 23:31.100
I mean what did you think the answer was gonna be there?
614
23:31.100 --> 23:32.330
That he was gonna be worried about it?
615
23:32.330 --> 23:35.240
It's not a power struggle, it goes owner, GM, coach.
616
23:35.240 --> 23:36.330
I coulda fired you too.
617
23:36.330 --> 23:38.280
You seemed quite upset that you weren't consulted.
618
23:38.280 --> 23:40.050
You said you were gonna have a talk with the owner after.
619
23:40.050 --> 23:42.330
I think the GM should be involved in conversations,
620
23:42.330 --> 23:43.800
especially with replacements.
621
23:43.800 --> 23:46.270
I mean the thing is, it wasn't like we went
622
23:46.270 --> 23:48.160
into Barstool Radio being like Nate's fired,
623
23:48.160 --> 23:49.700
we started talking about the game more
624
23:49.700 --> 23:51.310
and it's like oh my God, he's such a bad coach,
625
23:51.310 --> 23:52.217
we gotta fire him.
626
23:52.217 --> 23:53.240
It was the worst performance.
627
23:53.240 --> 23:55.500
It was the worst post-game press conference
628
23:55.500 --> 23:56.333
I've ever seen in my life.
629
23:56.333 --> 24:00.200
When the team goes two for nine from the foul line
630
24:00.200 --> 24:01.860
I can't control that as a coach.
631
24:01.860 --> 24:05.673
But you can control and have to dictate the game.
632
24:06.666 --> 24:10.513
That was literally my goddamn action man.
633
24:10.513 --> 24:14.240
Well when we're toweling over the team by six inches
634
24:14.240 --> 24:15.957
per player and you're lettin' people shoot threes--
635
24:15.957 --> 24:19.267
You know nobody can hear you, like you do that a lot.
636
24:19.267 --> 24:21.140
'Kay this is gonna just devolve,
637
24:21.140 --> 24:22.540
the point is you're fired, so.
638
24:22.540 --> 24:23.373
No I know, so.
639
24:24.440 --> 24:26.350
I wanna hear this inspirational speech though.
640
24:26.350 --> 24:30.908
So you like to make excuses to not fix that bad habit.
641
24:30.908 --> 24:33.660
It's something Tex can smooth over.
642
24:33.660 --> 24:35.940
Tex, you get your own squad, we'll get to see.
643
24:35.940 --> 24:39.160
He definitely didn't take, you were crazy in there.
644
24:39.160 --> 24:40.810
I mean you do basically--
645
24:40.810 --> 24:42.663
You were sayin' two plus two is five,
646
24:42.663 --> 24:43.980
you were makin' no sense.
647
24:43.980 --> 24:45.310
You blame everything on the players.
648
24:45.310 --> 24:46.970
I don't think you gave the coach long enough
649
24:46.970 --> 24:48.850
to implement his system, I think two games
650
24:48.850 --> 24:51.130
is not a big enough sample size,
651
24:51.130 --> 24:53.810
especially when your star player goes oh for 10
652
24:53.810 --> 24:54.843
and you go two for nine from the line.
653
24:54.843 --> 24:57.580
'Kay Marco that has to be said, he was sick
654
24:57.580 --> 24:59.100
and I've heard a lot of excuses.
655
24:59.100 --> 25:00.580
I think people are afraid of him.
656
25:00.580 --> 25:04.760
For a guy who since I've known has been our Michael Jordan
657
25:04.760 --> 25:06.960
of the office he was horrible yesterday.
658
25:06.960 --> 25:10.610
I think if you read my blog on barstoolsports.com
659
25:10.610 --> 25:11.930
that says that I've been fired
660
25:11.930 --> 25:13.730
I think you will agree with most of my logical points.
661
25:13.730 --> 25:16.260
Also you take a dig at me, you're like--
662
25:16.260 --> 25:17.200
I didn't take a dig at you.
663
25:17.200 --> 25:19.273
Texting 19 year old girls.
You were.
664
25:19.273 --> 25:21.000
That's what you do though, that's not a dig.
665
25:21.000 --> 25:22.800
What do you mean I was, no I wasn't.
666
25:22.800 --> 25:25.180
I glanced over at your phone, I see you sliding.
667
25:25.180 --> 25:27.030
But that's neither here nor there, Dave.
668
25:27.030 --> 25:28.120
What the fuck is this guy talkin' about?
669
25:28.120 --> 25:30.250
Have you ever taken responsibility for anything?
670
25:30.250 --> 25:31.690
Tex, you still have a mic?
671
25:31.690 --> 25:35.480
But the fact is I don't think you gave me enough of a time
672
25:35.480 --> 25:39.728
to get my squad fully prepared.
673
25:39.728 --> 25:42.415
How many plays did you write 'em, how many plays?
674
25:42.415 --> 25:44.500
He said zero.
Tex please, don't.
675
25:44.500 --> 25:45.850
You didn't take any responsibility,
676
25:45.850 --> 25:47.750
you just blamed everything on poor shooting.
677
25:47.750 --> 25:50.190
No, I said I'm learning as a coach.
678
25:50.190 --> 25:51.023
I've never coached before,
679
25:51.023 --> 25:52.180
I said we're getting better every week.
680
25:52.180 --> 25:53.500
I can't do this again, I can't do this again.
681
25:53.500 --> 25:56.010
If you wanna see any of the stuff
682
25:56.010 --> 25:58.150
of Nate being a delusional spider monkey,
683
25:58.150 --> 25:59.688
we have it from Barstool Radio, right?
684
25:59.688 --> 26:02.730
Yeah, I think a lot of it's on Twitter at barstoolradio.
685
26:02.730 --> 26:05.807
It's in my blog on barstoolsports.com.