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(music)

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<v ->Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of</v>

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Around the Hill.

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It's me, PFT Commenter.

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We're gonna be talking about the news today.

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News, news, news.

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It's what everyone's talking about

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and today's episode is brought to you by

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PredictIt.

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It's a stock market for politics.

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Sign up below at this URL, you're gonna get 20 bucks

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for free and we're gonna match that first 20 for you.

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You can bet on the news, you can bet on fucking politics.

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God bless America.

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All right, today, we're gonna be diving in

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some deep shit right now.

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There's a lot of talk going on on the campaign trail

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after Joe Biden was caught in a snapshot

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sucking on his wife's digits during a little campaign stop.

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So, we're gonna figure out, is this gonna good

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for Grandpa Joe or is it gonna be a bad thing.

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Is it gonna turn voters off to see him just,

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going to town on his wife's index finger like

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he's Heather Brooke out there.

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Let's find out.

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Let's kick it over to Will, Hard Factor Will in Nevada.

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Will, what do you think?

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<v ->All right, I'm on the blue tie team today</v>

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and I'ma go ahead and say that this is bad!

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Bad for Joe Biden's cause, right.

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Everything that this guy does right now is bad

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for the blue tie cause.

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Joe Biden is like a robot sent from the future to almost

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sexually harass every woman within a ten foot radius.

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It's just insanely creepy

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and then his son will definitely sleep with you.

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This is bad for his campaign.

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Everything Joe's doing for us

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is bad for the blue ties right now.

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<v ->Very sexual campaign, very little gath,</v>

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little tongue gath on Biden's part.

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He's no stranger to that, I can tell you that much.

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Wes, what do you think about this,

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you think it's a good thing?

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<v ->Oh, I think it's great for the Democrats.</v>

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I think they found their nominee.

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Right now, I think that is a sure sign

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they should nominate him,

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he's got the best chance against Trump.

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I mean, I actually respect the finger-bite.

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If I want to get my wife in the mood,

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that's one of my moves, versus the 'ole ass smack with a-

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(grunting)

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and then the finger bite with direct eye contact.

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Gets you going every time.

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<v ->Yeah, like he's switching it up.</v>

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He's not just taking in whiffs of the beautiful Pantene,

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he's going straight for the fingers, the old metatarsals.

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Okay, now Will, you think this is gonna freak out

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some voters?

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I know he's got his family issues going on with Hunter Biden

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being a sexual maven, just a beast in the bedroom.

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<v ->Look, how could this-</v>

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<v ->This is a man and a woman who are in love,</v>

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aren't people gonna like that?

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<v ->Look, look, how can anything be worse</v>

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than what he's already done, all right.

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This is Biden.

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He considers marijuana a gateway drug, all right.

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The blue ties aren't having that in 2019.

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This guy's going on a "No Malarkey" tour.

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What, "No Malarkey" tour sponsored by Werther's Original.

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What the fuck.

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What is he trying to do.

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I don't understand what Joe Biden is doing.

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Get outta here, Joe.

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<v ->This is really</v>

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<v ->Nominate him right now
Ever think about that?</v>

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<v ->Now I know, so, he's licking some acrylics.</v>

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I'd rather see him putting some acrylic nails in his mouth.

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Some nice little French tips,

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than putting a doobie in there.

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I think that would probably drive away some of the more

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census voters, afraid of smoking marijuana.

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<v ->Look, look, look, he probably can't even smoke a doobie</v>

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with those dentures, all right.

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Everything that Joe is doing is against what the blue ties

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are even doing.

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We need to be riding legal weed and a minimum wage hike,

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all right.

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Weed and cash,

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all the way to the Oval Office in 2020.

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Corporate Joe doesn't want any of that, all right.

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Look, who am I?

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I'm Corporate Joe.

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I've got Ukrainian contacts, I got dentures,

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I got war on drugs, I got corporate money, and-

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<v ->Are we still talking about sitting on fingers, here?</v>

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And I got Hunter Biden, those are all bad things.

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<v ->I can see Corey Booker, just like, just take</v>

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Rosario Dawson and just motor boat her on stage

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for a little bit,
<v ->Hell, yeah.</v>

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That ought to get the vote out.

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Wes, you know what I'm talking about, right?

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<v ->Hell, yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about, PFT,</v>

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that's the move and I tell you what, if I'm

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I'm gonna tell all my friends, start campaigning

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for Joe Biden because that is the best thing

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that we can possibly do as Republicans, is get this

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guy in the seat against Trump, it's a sure win for us.

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It mean, it's, you see the way he nibbling on his wife's

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fingers

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<v ->Will, you smoking a cigarette?</v>

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and now we got Hunter

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and that's a big problem.

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<v ->You smoking a cigarette there , Will?</v>

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<v ->Nah, I'm sorry, I'm just pounding my brain</v>

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with the Biden's favorite gateway drug, marijuana.

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So, um-

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<v ->Be careful of that, be careful.</v>

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You'll be injecting heroin behind your eyeballs

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by the time this interview's over.

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<v ->Maybe if I gatewayed myself enough right now</v>

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I'll end up partying with Hunter Biden later tonight.

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Who knows.

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<v ->Oh, that's, say what you want about the Biden family,</v>

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but I bet they're a blast to go to Coyote Ugly with, yeah.

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<v ->I bet they are.</v>

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<v ->Only one way to start that process,</v>

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you gotta get on the gateway first, all right.

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<v ->Yeah.</v>

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<v ->Then you move on, that's what Joe said.</v>

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That's how Joe tells it

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<v ->You know what?</v>

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I like, I like Wes' horniness, I like Joe's horniness, too.

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I think it's been far too long,

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going back to the Clinton administration,

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since we've had a real hound dog in the office.

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But, I'm gonna go with Will on this one because

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I like the balls on you, Will.

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Just pulling out a nice little "j," toking up,

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blazing your mind into oblivion.

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So, I'ma give you the final word, Will.

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You get the final word, buddy.

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<v ->That's what I'm saying.</v>

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All right, you gotta always enjoy your nice

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little victory j once in a while,

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<v PFT>Absolutely.</v>

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but also, what you need to do, is go to

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www.PredictIt.org/promo/barstool20

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to bet on the outcome of the next election.

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Whether you agree with me, the blue bow-tied dipshit

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or Wes, the red, bow-tied dipshit,

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you're gonna wanna get that money and PredictIt.

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<v ->Get that money and PredictiT and get your rocks off</v>

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with Grandpa Joe, that sounds like a good plan for me.

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I'm betting on Joe.

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I'm betting on Joe to ejaculate in his pants

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at some point on the campaign trail.

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I don't know if that's
<v ->That's the only safe bet.</v>

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A profit you can rack it up with,

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but that is a safe, safe bet.

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All right, thank you to the bow-tied dipshits, as always,

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for joining us Around the Hill.

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It's me, PFT Commenter.

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I'm glad that you could join us and I hope you learned

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a little bit tody about Joe Biden's penis.