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<v ->Welcome back to The Fundown.</v>

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I'm your host, Francis.

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Today's episode is brought to you by NuvaRing.

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It's an intravaginal contraceptive

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full of chemicals that could even stop

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Michael Phelps from swimming to your ovaries.

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Turn it into a game.

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Try to lasso your dick with the NuvaRing,

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but don't keep it out of the vagina

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for too long or else you'll have a daughter.

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Joining me on today's episode is actor

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and heartthrob, Chris Hemsworth.

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<v ->My hammer has vanquished evil and humidified</v>

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vaginas for years.

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<v ->You're quite a beautiful man.</v>

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<v ->I'm not a man, I'm a god.</v>

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My jawline was forged in the fires of Asgard.

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<v ->Also joining us today is CrossFit coach, Cooper.</v>

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Cooper, thanks for being here.

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<v ->You can call me Coop.</v>

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<v ->No, I can't.</v>

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On to our first topic.

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Kim Jong-un, the leader of North Korea,

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has said that he will launch a mighty super

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preemptive strike should the US not back down.

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Needless to say, the situation in North Korea

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is far from low-key.

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<v ->Loki?</v>

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Where?

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<v ->No Chris, not your brother.</v>

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Low-key is a figure of speech meaning

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keep things casual.

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<v ->I don't understand.</v>

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<v ->(laughs) I'm not surprised.</v>

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Cooper, any thoughts on North Korea?

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<v ->I think we should name a wad after Kim Jong-un.</v>

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We could call it the Uno and it would be

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a one-rep max of everything. (laughing)

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<v ->Cooper, shut the fuck up!</v>

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On to our our next topic.

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A female high school student in North Carolina

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has asked a male student to prom.

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Gender traditionalists are saying

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that this is an abomination.

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Cooper, dare I ask what your thoughts are?

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<v ->I've always felt that men and women can push</v>

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their bodies beyond what the mind believes.

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The limits of the physical universe are very small.

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<v ->North Carolina, North Korea,</v>

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why is everything north?

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<v ->Well, Chris, sometimes things go south.</v>

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Like when my girlfriend left me

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to go to medical school in the South. (laughing)

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<v ->Don't forget to chalk up right before a workout.</v>

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Chalk up as much as you can.

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Really,

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chalk up!

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<v ->I'm ready to chalk this entire Fundown up to a loss.</v>

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Thanks for joining us.

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We'll see you next time.

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<v ->Goodbye.</v>

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<v ->Hey, thanks for having me, goodbye!</v>

